zeus blog on Absolute Radio

Kudos Box, anyone else having probs with it?

zeus — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 16:53:00 +0100

On my PC it's spreading all over the page then disappearing.

I have to flit around Lounge, Home Pg etc to escape the chaos it leaves, anyone else out-there suffering same bugs?

Oh BTW I was walking through Stanley Park in Liverpool earlier today, I noticed a Liverpool FC season ticket, pinned to a tree. "WOW" I thought, "I'm having THAT!"

well pins do come in handy, now & then.

A question for the blokes out there ....

zeus — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:18:00 +0100

Is it just me?

or are the lovely girls "Solar powered"?

when the temp is up there, you know 23-28, like over the weekend, there they are really bonny sorts, carrying Amani, Gucci or Harrod's bags.

then the temp drops by 10 degrees, what do we see, great big "Fat Bottomed Girls", with bags from Primark, Gregs & MacDonalds

evening all

zeus — Fri, 29 May 2009 17:53:00 +0100

Just back from Rome, bit of of a grim result, though it could have been worse, we could have lost to the Scousers in Red, who's supporters seem to be unaware today is the anniversary of Heysel, when they got us kicked out of Europe for 5 long years.

Still loosing out to Everton in the F.A Cup semi's & then to Barca, means the backroom staff at The Theatre of Dreams only have an extra 4 trophies to polish this season, seems a bit grim eh.

no bad trip

zeus — Fri, 15 May 2009 18:12:00 +0100

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept to confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more
person confess to adultery, I'll quit! "Everyone liked him, so they came up with a secret code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say that they had "fallen."

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at the ripe, old age of 96.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the secret code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him
and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has already fallen three times this week!"

In Yorkshire, it's "Mam 'Am 'Ere"

zeus — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:20:00 +0100

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me.

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me ABOUT SEX...
"How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING...
"You are going to get it when we get home."

and my all time favorite thing- JUSTICE
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU...then you'll see what its like."

Typical!

zeus — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:58:00 +0100

Another Dig At Us Blokes

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along
with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with
your partner!"

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" replied the teacher.

"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

PMSL - Alice Cooper plays golf hence the tag, Do'h

(you know who you are)

LOST?

zeus — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:54:00 +0100

A tissue

zeus — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:31:00 +0100

The Back 9

zeus — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:10:00 +0100

A Japanese family just arrived in the United States and stays at a moderate hotel in New York. As they ride up the elevator to their suite, a gentleman gets in at the next floor.

Stunned by the beauty of the Japanese daughter, the man tries to communicate with her, only to find she speaks no English. Undeterred, the man asks the father if he
could take his daughter to dinner. Having some English experience from his many business trips to the states, the father communicates to the daughter and dinner
plans are made.

After dinner, they head up to his suite. Well, one thing leads to another and as he starts going at it she starts moaning "Oshima!". Believing this must mean she's getting into it, he thrusts harder and harder and she is screaming "Oshima!,Oshima!!".

The next morning, the gentleman invites the father to a round of golf, knowing how much the Japanese love the sport. On the first hole, the father tees up, and nails a hole in one. Thinking quickly, the gentleman yells out "Oshima!!".

The father, with a complexed look, turns to the man and says...

"What you mean ... the wrong hole?"

So many enquiries........

zeus — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:29:00 +0100

so here she is .......... the little Princess

Do You Believe ......

zeus — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:22:00 +0100

They Put A Man On The Moon?

Photographic evidence provided by Liverpool University Space Probe, manned by two youths from Toxteth & 3 more teenages from the Stanley Park, Anfield area ........

Time to Kick-Start the Weekend...

zeus — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:55:00 +0000

so I will leave you with a few 1 liners

feel free to 'borrow' 1 or 2, for weekend use only :-)

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Put on your seatbelt...I wanna try something.
The Universe is a figment of its own imagination.
There's no future in time travel.
Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
A day without sunshine is like night.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count; those who can't.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Death is hereditary.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer!
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon!
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Arachibutyrophobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to roof of mouth.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Please return Stewardess to original upright position

Thank You

zeus — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:33:00 +0000

from a little bit pissed zeus

can't believe all the good wishes, ;-() humbled

here, have a tune in a way of saying, "THANKS!!!!!!!!!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA9zzNi2f70

tomorrow is ---------------

zeus — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 19:08:00 +0000

St Patrick's Day, let the Guinness flow, not only, But Also

VIP birthdays

to the Canada lady of letter's, mommyerin

http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/vip/profile/mommyerin/

& one ot The Agentine VIP's

http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/vip/profile/peacetimesusan/

give 'em a shout folks, enjoy tomorrow, I've already started

Foregiveness

zeus — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:49:00 +0000

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'

80% of the congregation held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. nearly all responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

'Miss Joyce''; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'

'I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.

"Miss Joyce', that is very unusual. How old are you?"

'Ninety-eight.' she replied.

"Oh, Miss. Joyce, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

'I outlived the bitches.'