virginrobert blog on Absolute Radio

lol

virginrobert — Wed, 30 May 2007 10:04:39 +0100

hi sorry i havent been around for a while and i know this site is boring without me so heres a joke to cheer you up.

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

my day

virginrobert — Wed, 09 May 2007 18:44:49 +0100

i had an awsome day i didnt have to do much at school i was the 10000 viewer for someone and i have just become a

stadium rocker!!

woooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

no pain no game!!

virginrobert — Mon, 07 May 2007 10:51:48 +0100

once you have read this please leave a comment it will be interesting to hear your thoughts. i love rugby but the only problem with it is the injuries. i've had plenty of injuries but im a tough cookie only one injury has taken me off the feild and dont think that all the other injuries weren't bad because they wereive been bleeding all over the place almost dislocated my knee broken two fingers at the same time those all really hurt and ive had plenty more but the one that took me off the feild was whip lash for those of you who dont know what that is its basically the next best thing to breaking your neck. how i did it: i was at the side of a maul (a maul is like a scrum but not a scrum) and it oppled over on my head and momentum took me the opposite way my neck was going there were about 15 clicks in my neck it all happend very quickly i couldnt remember anything after that but apparently i just lay there i had to get taken of with great difficulty by my coaches. i couldnt move my neck for about 2 weeks it was so annoying. about two years later i managed to do it again but it wasn't as bad but it clicked and i knew it wasn't good but i played on because i love rugby. A week after that game i went to an ostioopath and he said that it was the "leftovers from an injury about 2 years ago" when i had whip lash properly. anyway he fixd my neck and hopefully it wont happen again. whats your worst injury? do you play a sport that is rough? have you had whip lash?are you prone to injuries even if you dont play a sport? please leave a comment!!

nose bleeds

virginrobert — Sat, 05 May 2007 20:58:41 +0100

i hate nose bleeds they always happen to me, do they happen to you? ive had my nose quarterized twice for those of u whodont know what that is the dont cut off a quarter of your nose they stick this thing thats like a match up your nose then spay really really bitter spray up your nose and then u stick cotton woll up their too for 5 mins or so then u take it out is it leaves a really bitter taste in your mouth and im gonna have it done again uh oh. do you have nose bleeds? have you had ur nose quarterized? please leave a comment.

what i love and hate

virginrobert — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 12:01:41 +0100

hi im rob i love the music virgin play its awsome my favourite band of them all is the kaiser cheifs an i think their best song is ruby!!! i love rugby it's a tough game and not the faint hearted, i love it and i also think football is rubbish its really boring to watch and play, in rugby some say it takes no skill it does believe me if u dont try it, there are tackling tequnuiques and even tequnuiqes for being tackled so next time you watch dont think oh hes been takled there no skill in that there is and its way more fun to watch. its fun to play because you can smack into people and do almost anything without them rolling all over the floor holding their faces when its their leg that hurts. So thats what i thing about footbal rugby and virgin radio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please leave a comment.