uk_wenchy blog on Absolute Radio

Valentines

uk_wenchy — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 08:57:27 +0000

Happy Valentines to all

fantasy football

uk_wenchy — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 17:58:47 +0100

Was wonderding how many of you have signed up for the virgin radio fantast football? I have and I have a league should any of my friends wish to join.

Some very funny marriage jokes

uk_wenchy — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 11:20:26 +0100

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love and to
forgive him, and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I
pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"

So True

uk_wenchy — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 10:57:49 +0100

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus
arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids
are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind
man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you
put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound
is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end
of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

Which Airline?

uk_wenchy — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 10:55:30 +0100

A guy sitting at a bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 noticed a really beautiful woman sitting next to him.

He thought to himself: "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an off duty flight attendant; I wonder which airline she works for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta Airlines slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself: "I guess she doesn't work for Delta."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head.
He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look.

He mentally kicked himself, and scratched Singapore Airlines off the list.

Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk."

This time the woman turned on him, "What the f*ck do you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said

"Ahhhhh, Ryanair!!!

Good Morning All

uk_wenchy — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 08:59:46 +0100

I have been missing a few days but I am back now. Good Morning to all and here's hoping its a good 1 for you all today.

Morning VIP's

uk_wenchy — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 08:07:33 +0100

Good morning all, I hope we are all fine this Thursday Morning

Exams

uk_wenchy — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 15:39:37 +0100

One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinking till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn't study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.
They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could rtake the test after 3 days. The students On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duraction of the exam.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points
MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION

INSTRUCTIONS :
All questions are required. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the
candidates getting a zero mark.

Q.1. Write down your name. ----- (2 POINTS)
Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended. ----- (30 POINTS)
Q.3. What type of a car were you driving? ------(20 POINTS)
Q.4. Which tyre burst? ------- (28 POINTS)
Q.5. Who was driving? ------ (20 POINTS)

Exams

uk_wenchy — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 15:39:32 +0100

Cheap Blonde Joke - sorry!!!

uk_wenchy — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 15:12:36 +0100

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says " what a great chest you have"

He replies " thats a 100 lbs of dynamite, Honey"

He takes off his pants and she says " OOO what massive calves you have"

He replies " thats a 100 lbs of dynamite baby"

He then removes his underwear and the girl runs out screaming in fear.

When he finally catches up to her he askes her why she departed so quick.

She replied " I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!!!!!"

What has Philip Done?

uk_wenchy — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:44:19 +0100

Morning VIP's

uk_wenchy — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 08:19:49 +0100

Good Morning all, hope we had a good weekend and had fun. Me, I decorated "sigh" but these things have to be done. Back to work now for 3 days, then a long weekend. Lets listen to some great music

Angie

Another rainy day?

uk_wenchy — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 14:42:16 +0100

Are we all sick of the rain yet?

AWE

uk_wenchy — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 10:23:26 +0100

Spot the Mistake

uk_wenchy — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 10:22:15 +0100