monkeylugs blog on Absolute Radio

I AM BACK

monkeylugs — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 19:56:00 +0100

Hi VIPs I have not been online for what seems like months!! But it is in fact 3 weeks!! Been in hospital poorly, but all better now and glad to be back so hi to all!! My god have I fell down the rankings!!

TELEVISION APPEARANCE

monkeylugs — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 11:28:00 +0100

Went to BBLB Last night with Dermot O'Leary, he is so little!!! Lesley was on it and that mad Papparazzi guy with the red hair, queued for 4 hours for a 1/2 hour show, but glad I did halk the people got turned away. Was sat smack bang in the middle of the front row!!! Watched it when I got home last night looked like a performing seal!!!

Anyone else got any TV claim to fames?

BIG BROTHER

monkeylugs — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 10:17:00 +0100

I succesfully manged to obtain tickets to BBLB tonight on E4 at 7.30 will give all you little VIPs a wave to say hi!! Mind you as you have not seen me you will not have a clue which one is me!! blonde hair, glasses

IOW FESTIVAL

monkeylugs — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 10:13:00 +0100

Those of you that are feeling low after the IOW Festival need to give a little thought to those of us who tried everything (INCLUDING OFFERING MY BODY TO SUGGS) to get tickets amd were unsuccesful. Not that I am bitter or jealous or anything but quit taling about it!!! Just kidding glad you all enjoyed it!!

STABBING

monkeylugs — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 14:39:00 +0100

Just been on the news that a police man has been stabbe din my town centre, Luton. Luton has a bad reputation as it is then you go and get scum like this who make things worse. Poor man was just doing his job. Makes you embarrased to come from around there.

P45!!

monkeylugs — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 14:30:00 +0100

The Penis Wants a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.

2. I work at great depths.

3. I plunge head first into everything I do.

4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
~~~~~~
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the
following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after
EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management
team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.

5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end
of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.

10. You sometimes leave your designated area before
you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen
entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-
ooking bags.

Sincerely, The Management

THANKS

monkeylugs — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 09:20:00 +0100

Just want to say thanks to all you VIPs that left a shout after my award of VIP of the day on Monday. I have been ill in bed since then so this has been my first chance to log on so big thanks to you all. You know who you are.

Big Brother

monkeylugs — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 13:56:00 +0100

I vowed that I would not watch it, discuss it, or even waste an ounce of energy thinking about it, but the inevitable has happened and I will admit it, I have done it. I am already addicted, I HATE THEM ALL!!! Especially the one called Charley!!

Anyone else there yet?

The 9 Names I Own

monkeylugs — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 13:31:00 +0100

1.YOUR ORIGINAL NAME:
Kaye

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:
(first three letters of your name and izzle)
Kayizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color and favorite animal)
The Green Orangutang!!!!

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(your middle name and the street you live on)
Jane Ashcroft

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Beeye

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME:
(Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink).
Black Vodka

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME:
(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 2nd letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name)
Aeahran (I pronounce it "Aea-hra-an" - sounds like something worth investing you're soul in)

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(parents middle names)
Susan Richard

9.YOUR GOTH NAME:
(bloody and the name of one of your pets)
Bloody Pooch LOL!!!

The 9 Names I Own

ANYONE UP FOR A GAME

monkeylugs — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 12:20:00 +0100

LETS GO THROUGH BANDS FROM A - Z

I'LL START WITH A-HA

VIP OF THE DAY

monkeylugs — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 12:02:00 +0100

VIP of the Day what an accolade, I am so proud, wish to thank, my mum, my dad, my agent and all those other people that are important in my life!!!

WOOHOO!!! VIP of the Day thanks VR!!

POETS DAY

monkeylugs — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 13:50:00 +0100

POETS DAY

P = P***

O = OFF

E = EARLY

T = TOMORROWS

S = SATURDAY

Is that just s southern saying or is it one used up north too?

NEW JOB

monkeylugs — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 13:20:00 +0100

Started a new job on Wednsday so haven't had much time to chat, missing the worl of VR!! Lunchtimes are fine so I get an hour to chat so just really to say hi and that I am still alive in the world of VR!!!

Got to go now

monkeylugs — Tue, 29 May 2007 16:55:00 +0100

Must leave you all for a while need to go do some shopping how annoying is it that the mundane things inlife take over when you are trying to do much more important things like VR!! C U all in a bit.

Best or Worst Competition Prize

monkeylugs — Tue, 29 May 2007 16:21:00 +0100

A while ago I won tickets to the Download festival whilst trying to win tickets for the V Festival!! This morning got up to a huge parcel of a 4 man tent, 2 deckchairs, sleeping bags and all the cooking gear. As I am such a camping enthusiast (LOL!!) this will all come in extremely handy!

Whats the best or worst thing you have ever won?