jonnyk14 blog on Absolute Radio

Examinationorama

jonnyk14 — Wed, 16 May 2007 07:58:00 +0100

It's that time of year again folks, most 16-23 year olds doing various exams and whatnot. I start today, and I am bricking it somewhat

This explains why I've been quiet over the last couple days, just trying to get my head down so I can say I at least tried.

All the best :)

Alternative spellings

jonnyk14 — Mon, 14 May 2007 19:39:00 +0100

'ghoti' is an alternative spelling for a certain type of animal. any guesses?

A model answer in an English exam decades ago.

jonnyk14 — Mon, 14 May 2007 19:37:00 +0100

Question: "You must write a short story involving the themes of religion, nobility, childbirth and murder mysteries".

Student's answer: "Christ!" said the duchess, "I'm pregnant, whodunnit?"

Outrage.

jonnyk14 — Mon, 14 May 2007 00:33:00 +0100

I read today that Chad Smith was voted the best drummer alive in some Doell & Ford Magazine poll. I mean yea the Chilis are quite good and well known etc but he's quite an average drummer, he just got lucky with the rest of the band. I could think of many more contributing, entertaining and just plain BETTER drummers out there, such as Alex Van Halen (anyone who has heard Hot For Teacher must surely agree with me there)

Just thought I'd vent that out.

Two ladies...

jonnyk14 — Sat, 12 May 2007 16:18:00 +0100

A joke.

So two posh ladies were stood on the front lawn drinking a nice glass of something expensive. They spot a man walking past.

One lady says to the other "I say, isn't that Mr. Fortescue over there?"

The other says "Yes, I do believe it is".

The first lady then says "My, doesn't he dress handsomely".

And the second lady replies "Yes, and very quickly too"

Hardy har har.

Is he boverd, though?

jonnyk14 — Sat, 12 May 2007 13:32:00 +0100

Saw a clip of Tony Blaire and Catherine Tate last night on Have I Got News For You. So he's done the "am i boverd?" thing, and he's played the guitar and sung etc. Whatever next?

Terry Wogan's little mishap

jonnyk14 — Sat, 12 May 2007 00:31:00 +0100

So I saw Terry Wogan announce the wrong name! It was at the semis when it would be decided which act would take us to the Eurovision song contest. How embarrassing! Who else saw? Poor sod.

A tale of two villages

jonnyk14 — Fri, 11 May 2007 20:36:00 +0100

Back when I was in school, I was in a school band. We went on tour in the summer of 2004 in the school minibus, which as you can imagine didn't quite have air conditioning. It was a blisteringly hot day. Anyway, along the journey we passed through one particular village called "Nasty".

A while later, we started to get quite dehydrated so we stopped at the next place for a bottle of water. This happened to be a village called "Ugly". It had only one shop, but it had plenty of bottled water on sale for us. Also, it sold the local newspaper. On the cover, I spotted a story entitled

"Nasty man marries Ugly woman"

Gordon Brown's leadership bid

jonnyk14 — Fri, 11 May 2007 17:05:00 +0100

He said that he'd welcome any rival candidate to the leadership and to becoming prime minister.

Let me say, so do I!

Two drunks and a sack

jonnyk14 — Fri, 11 May 2007 16:14:00 +0100

Just a little joke.

There was a drunk walking along the road, and coming the other way was another drunk, carrying a mysterious sack. The first drunk asks the second "what's in the sack?" and the second replies "Some hedgehogs." So the first drunk says "How many you got in there?" and the second replies "I don't think I want to tell you". The first drunk then says "If I can guess the number of hedgehogs in your sack, will you give me one of them?" and the second drunk replies "I'll give you them both!"

Yak yak yak.

Housemates, we love 'em!

jonnyk14 — Thu, 10 May 2007 23:14:00 +0100

Okay, so if you're reading this and you share a house with people other than family or a spouse etc, let us know things they've done that's really ticked you off in the past.

Starting us off: unnecessary slamming of doors, failing to cook without setting off the fire alarm.

Ahehehe.

Two catholics in a restaurant

jonnyk14 — Thu, 10 May 2007 20:12:00 +0100

Just a little joke.

So there were these two catholic blokes sat in a restaurant. They were talking about life, the universe and all things relating to the catholic faith. One says to the other "Well, you know the no-sex-before-marriage thing - I certainly didn't sleep with my wife before we were married, did you?"

His mate says to him "I've no idea, what's her name?"

"A drunk and a penguin"

jonnyk14 — Thu, 10 May 2007 20:10:00 +0100

Just a little joke.

So there was a drunk walking along the street with a penguin on a leash. He came across a policeman who said to the drunk "Oi mate, you can't have that it's not allowed! Take it the zoo right away!"...

Next day, the same drunk with the same penguin on a leash encounters the same policeman. The policeman says "Oi, I thought I told you to take that to the zoo!" And the drunk responded "Yes I did and he liked it and I'm taking him to the art gallery now!"

Your mobile ringtone...

jonnyk14 — Thu, 10 May 2007 14:53:00 +0100

We're not talking about Crazy Frog and other Jamster abominations here...

Currently mine plays "When You Were Young" by the Killers

What tunes do you use, or recommend?

Barbera Streisand(!)

jonnyk14 — Thu, 10 May 2007 14:27:00 +0100

£500 on a concert ticket, anyone?

Surely that's a bit steep, even for the most die-hardest Babbs fan?!