homemaker blog on Absolute Radio

good evening vips

homemaker — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 20:37:19 +0000

love this tune

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=szGtmXrWaU8

well done spurs

homemaker — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 19:40:24 +0000

spurs won 2.1

and for sisters everywhere

homemaker — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:09:16 +0000

yes i have 3 sisters to

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw6F3Sf-PGw

for brothers everywhere

homemaker — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:05:54 +0000

i have 3 brothers

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=U72SG7ot0A0

good afternoon vips

homemaker — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:13:56 +0100

1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. and yells . . . 'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi'.
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes , St.Thomas's Bath

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the
family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he
was having trouble with one of his medications.

'Which one ?'. . .. I asked.

'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and
now I'm running out of places to put it!'

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions
includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair , Norfolk General

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long
have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .'Why, not for about
twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked . . .' So how was your breakfast this morning?'

'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to
the taste.'. . Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled
'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon . Bristol Infirmary.

7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple hair
styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and
wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the
patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an
immediate operation... When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above
it there was a tattoo that read . . .'Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
patient's dressing, which read 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty , KGH

saturday night

homemaker — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 21:25:10 +0100

son went out so hubby and i had some quality time together.watched a dvd.

did we watch something romantic? no we saw our all time favourit efilm

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CjF8sjuPLxU

a/c d/c uk dates

homemaker — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:56:22 +0100

London 02 Arena - April 14
Dublin, The O2 - April 18
Manchester MEN Arena – April 21
Birmingham LG Arena – April 23

Tickets are thought to cost £40 each (£45 for London) and they will apparently be limited to two per person.

Fans will be no doubt disappointed that there aren’t more dates. The three UK venues have a combined capacity of around 40,000 while demand will surely be in the millions.

Fingers crossed for strongly rumoured additional dates that will plug those gaps between London and Manchester...

bye for now vips

homemaker — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:18:40 +0100

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh1J4rTgVgE

vip birthday

homemaker — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:28:01 +0100

happy birthday to trevhook.have a great day

for all mums

homemaker — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:40:01 +0100

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs £5.Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and co-ordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life.

shadowmaker

homemaker — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:49:36 +0100

ok own up.which one of you ladies has got shadowmaker lock in your bedroom?

congratulations

homemaker — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 19:46:38 +0100

my niece karen and her partner stephen go marride today.well done guys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AofzLsvTsM0

for u s ac/dc fans

homemaker — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:54:41 +0100

AC/DC Confirm American Dates

11th September 2008

AC/DC have confirmed the first leg of their Black Ice World Tour.

According to Billboard the first stop on the tour will be on 28 October at the Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre, PA.

The band will head to South America, Europe and Asia in 2009.

Here’s the tour dates:

Oct. 28 - Wilkes-Barre, PA - Wachovia Arena
Oct. 30 - Chicago, IL - Allstate Arena
Nov. 03 - Indianapolis, IN - Conseco Fieldhouse
Nov. 05 - Auburn Hills, MI - Palace of Auburn Hills
Nov. 07 - Toronto, ONT - Rogers Centre
Nov. 09 - Boston, MA - TD Banknorth Garden
Nov. 12-13 - New York, NY - Madison Square Garden
Nov. 15 - Washington, DC - Verizon Center
Nov. 17 - Philadelphia, PA - Wachovia Center
Nov. 19 - East Rutherford, NJ - IZOD Center
Nov. 21 - Columbus, OH - Schottenstein Center
Nov. 23 - Minneapolis, MN - Xcel Energy Center
Nov. 25 - Denver, CO - Pepsi Center
Nov. 28 - Vancouver, BC - General Motors Place
Nov. 29 - Seattle, WA - KeyArena
Nov. 30 - Tacoma, WA - Tacoma Dome
Dec. 02 - Oakland, CA - Oracle Arena
Dec. 06 - Los Angeles, CA - The Forum
Dec. 10 - Phoenix, AZ - US Airways Center
Dec. 12 - San Antonio, TX - AT&T Center
Dec. 14 - Houston, TX - Toyota Center
Dec. 16 - Atlanta, GA - Philips Arena
Dec. 18 - Charlotte, NC - Time Warner Cable Arena

overwhelming urge

homemaker — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:04:52 +0100

after a crap day i have the urge to scream or hit someone.well im not a violent person so i will scream.anyone care to join me on the count of 3 go. 1.2.3 screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJPyy1Oncco

missing friends

homemaker — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 15:40:25 +0100

shadowmaker

fireprincess

wild angel

citizenmalcolm

shrekky1

jono1

sezzmo

gemminijade.

hey where are you guys.anyone out there know of their whereabouts?