gege_it blog on Absolute Radio

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

gege_it — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:19:54 +0000

A couple drove down a country road for several miles not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

gege_it — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:17:43 +0000

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?" He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's soooooooooooooo much cheaper. So I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she."

WHO DOES WHAT

gege_it — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:15:41 +0000

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pates, that it indeed says..................................................."HEBREWS"

Don't Need One of Those

gege_it — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:44:49 +0000

A little boy was playing in his sandbox when the little girl next door came up and asked if she could play, too. He said, "okay."
Shortly he began bragging, "I have a big fire engine."
The girl responded, "So, I have a fire engine too. See!"
Only slightly put off he expressed, "I have a toy tank!"
She looked at it and quietly reached behind the sand box and pulled out a toy M1 Tank and said, "I have one, too."
The young boy almost in tears dropped his pants and says, "I have a penis!"
The little girl looked down her pants and burst into tears and ran home crying all the way.
The next day the lad is playing in his sand box when the little girl approaches. He says, "are you back for more? I told you I have a penis and you don't!"
"Well," said the little girl, "my mom told me not to worry about it. She said I have one of these... and as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!"

BLONDE JOKE

gege_it — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:04:50 +0000

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on The Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you all want to be cops, huh?"
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder.
Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The Detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

TO ALL MY VIP FRIENDS!!

gege_it — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 09:18:39 +0000

Hi my friends!!! Wish all of u is doing well and having big fun on AR. As usual even today I'll be at work. That just because I'm not so lucky as our nice VIP friend Mimì (mermaid4u2) which is kidding me every time I hardly work and she don't (lets say almost every day) PMSL!!! So I won't have time to stop here and then just want wish to You all a Good Morning and a great day!!! A huge warm hug to everybody!! Take care VIPs!!!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=axq5JnPsYSg

TRUST Vs. MISTRUST

gege_it — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:20:25 +0000

One of the eternal fight we could have inside.....but what is better trust or mistrust? Do u think it can have a big influence on our lifestyle? What my friends think about it?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eGzuAQ8GUaY

Time to leave.

gege_it — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 01:13:26 +0100

This is a place where is possible to enjoy a lot very good music and very nice friends. But sometime in the life can come for everyone of us the time to take a break. Doesn't matter the reasons that make u take this kind of decision but when we realize it we just feel the need to be with ourselves and try to find the way to restart as before and also better. We have a way to say here: "This happens to whom sails some seas". And something like this happens at the moment making me realize that time to leave for a while cames for me. So as I didnt want suddendly disappear I decided to greet everyone of you from this blog. Hoping to get back on here soon helped from that "Wind of Change", wish to u VIP's all the best and that every your desire comes true. Warm Hugs.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=taVW8Kv2HcQ

Italian joke

gege_it — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 00:24:48 +0100

Spaghetti

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.
The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

Hi to everybody

gege_it — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:15:29 +0100

Hi my VIP's friend. After a long pause I'm here again. I won't be on as often as before but at least I should be here sometime. So what news? What happened while I wasn't here? I'll be waiting to know all from YOU!!! In the meantime I wish to all of you my friends a very good time. LOVE&HUGS

April Fool's Day History

gege_it — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 10:31:42 +0100

The history of April Fool's Day or All Fool's Day is uncertain, but the current thinking is that it began around 1582 in France with the reform of the calendar under Charles IX. The Gregorian Calendar was introduced, and New Year's Day was moved from March 25 - April 1 (new year's week) to January 1.

Communication traveled slowly in those days and some people were only informed of the change several years later. Still others, who were more rebellious refused to acknowledge the change and continued to celebrate on the last day of the former celebration, April 1. These people were labeled "fools" by the general populace, were subject to ridicule and sent on "fool errands," sent invitations to nonexistent parties and had other practical jokes played upon them. The butts of these pranks became known as a "poisson d'avril" or "April fish" because a young naive fish is easily caught. In addition, one common practice was to hook a paper fish on the back of someone as a joke.

This harassment evolved over time and a custom of prank-playing continue on the first day of April. This tradition eventually spread elsewhere like to Britain and Scotland in the 18th century and was introduced to the American colonies by the English and the French. Because of this spread to other countries, April Fool's Day has taken on an international flavor with each country celebrating the holiday in its own way.

In Scotland, for instance, April Fool's Day is devoted to spoofs involving the buttocks and as such is called Taily Day. The butts of these jokes are known as April 'Gowk', another name for cuckoo bird. The origins of the "Kick Me" sign can be traced back to the Scottish observance.

In England, jokes are played only in the morning. Fools are called 'gobs' or 'gobby' and the victim of a joke is called a 'noodle.' It was considered back luck to play a practical joke on someone after noon.

In Rome, the holiday is known as Festival of Hilaria, celebrating the resurrection of the god Attis, is on March 25 and is also referred to as "Roman Laughing Day."

In Portugal, April Fool's Day falls on the Sunday and Monday before lent. In this celebration, many people throw flour at their friends.

The Huli Festival is celebrated on March 31 in India. People play jokes on one another and smear colors on one another celebrating the arrival of Spring.

So, no matter where you happen to be in the world on April 1, don't be surprised if April fools fall playfully upon you.

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL OF YOU VIP'S

gege_it — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:37:59 +0000

AN EVENING LAUGHTER

gege_it — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:50:47 +0000

Female Mathematics

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

Ethics standard

gege_it — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:10:35 +0000

She said, "Kiss me doctor!"

Doctor said, "I can't as we doctors have an ethics
standard that does not allow us to kiss our patients,
in fact, I really shouldn't be fucking you."

Yuppies

gege_it — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:33:43 +0000

A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined."You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my gaaawd...," replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?!!!!!"