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(124 views)It's only been 1 week. I've played the records. I've bought the back catalogue. I've contemplated my own mortality. I even thought about weeping for a moment. But now suddenly I'm over it. It's OK. I'm FINE. And like Elvis he is now just GONE. Nothing more. So here are 10 things I miss more than The King of Pop.
1. Princess Di. It's been over 10 years, but it still hurts. Damn it hurts. I miss the way she looked longingly down the camera. I miss her wistful thoughtfulness towards third world countries.
2. The milk man. Ouch. It hurts so bad. Why can't we have the clink of milk bottles in the morning?
3. Coal. Despise the middle classes turning their terraced home's coal bunker into an 8th toilet against planning permission. Miss the black sootiness of filth.
4. Kenny Everett. His Barbara Streisand impression was TV gold.
5. Mrs. Slocombe's pussy. RIP.
6. Tattoo from Fantasy Island. God love the little devil. And we miss de plane, de plane!
7. Sherbet Fountains. A sticky fountain of eh, sherbet.
8. Yasser Arafat. The man maybe gone but we can still buy the tea towel.
9. AIDS advertisements. Where has the fear factor gone now that the worst thing we have to fear is a pig flu?
10. Bros. Manufactured boy bands just aren't as fun to hate.
11. Woolies. We never ever shopped there, but boy we miss it.
12. John Candy. And not just because he was Canadian.
13. Fanny Craddock. You just don't see enough salmon mousses set in the shape of fish these days.
Did miss anything?
(68 views)Now you may never have considered Cleveland before as a destination. But having seen
this, I'm booking tickets. And they didn't even have to mention the fantastic
wealth of home-grown artists including Frankie Yonkovic raised in Cleveland.
(87 views)Much more important than finishing that PowerPoint presentation. Surely you need to know about the creatures of the deep.
Any plans for the weekend? Anyone seen the Counting Crows live?
(111 views)Let's burn the place down and make some noise.
Do you think we could get Kings of Leon car alarms?
(156 views)Here's an email I received from Absolute's Head of Marketing And Free Tickets That No One Else Gets. As usual I have annotated the subtext.
Hey Doug (friendly yet firm, he wont even see this one coming),
I see that you have started a Twitter account (shudder, sweat, little bit of vomit at the back my throat.) Nice work (but maybe you should stick to organising the paperclips). As you are linking back to your Absolute blog I feel it fair to comment on the content of your feed. Yesterday you tweeted a joke about Garry Glitter (a foul tasteless gem from the Gazman). I don't want to sound like a broken record, but let me say it for the one millionth and once [sic] time. We do not want the Absolute Radio brand associated with humor relating to Garry Glitter or harm towards any artist (or fisting of kittens, discrimination against people with too many freckles or my personal penchant for wearing women's knickers underneath Gap Khakis). I would appreciate it if you would remove this particular tweet (you little twerp). I am happy for you to post whatever you like should you wish to remove from your Twitter profile, any reference to Absolute or your role (which I am desperately trying to make redundant) here. You are a valuable brand ambassador (mmm, more mascot that I'd like to pack in a box in the back room) for us Doug. We all love your edgy humor and within the VIP community it is acceptable. But to a wider audience (12 degenerates and counting), on this occasion, you have over stepped the mark. Keep up the great work (what is it you do again?).
Cheers (yet never bought you a pint ever)
C****
PS Some great links yesterday (and here's one for you Doug)
(105 views)It really is. Enjoy. (67 views)Any kreepy freakys out there? What are you up to?
(146 views)It's been a while since I've done a Biscuit of the Week. Mainly because we always descend into the debate around whether or not Soreen is a biscuit or not. And of course it is.
So OK let's not debate shortcake versus shortbread. Fox's Shortcake Rounds are the chocolatey daddy. It's the chocolate bite before you get into the shortcake. If you're the kind of person that digs nibbling the chocolate off a chunky Kit Kat, you will have a biscuit climax.
Dunkability is good though you will need to watch your grip here or you will lose you biccy quicker than a bar of soap in the Wormwood shower block.
For me this is a solid 8/10. More a meal than a biscuit. That's breakfast sorted. Let me know your thoughts here without mentioning the words Chocolate Digestive.
(135 views)So Bob Dylan is the oldest ever person to have a UK No.1 album.Though there is some contention over how old he actually is: 65 or 67 are being quoted by the BBC and The Times respectively.
The big question is how old should a person be before they are tested - you know like a driving test - too old to sound good and we take away your license. Or maybe it's too old to look good. Imagine if we have to endure Britney gyrating around when she's 65. Mmmmm, we don't have to imagine, just look at Tina Turner back on the road. Yikes.
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