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(186 views)
Some people are like slinkys
Not really good for anything
But they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!!!
(248 views)Good day to all you lovely VIP's
Today, regardless of the weather, my overflowing in tray and my underflowing bank account I am singing a bitter sweet symphony!!
I GOT TICKETS TO SEE THE VERVE!!!!!!!
I am far too excited!!! At the Roundhouse too...one of my fave venues!!!
Can today get any better???
Tags: The Verve Richard Ashcroft
(163 views)
A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?"
The young man answered "Eye, hods, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle."
The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was
locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you
make today?"
The Geordie said "Just the one, Marra."
The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?
"£124,237.64" replied the Geordie.
The manager choked and exclaimed "£124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?"
"Well, forst I selt him a smaal fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast, so I telt him he would need a boat, so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him doon tiv the car sales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki".
The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?"
"Nah......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his ladyfriend and I said......... 'Well, since ya weekend's f**ked, you might as well gan fishing." (177 views)Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!
I've made the final!!!!
I am proper sh****ng myself now!!!
Today was by far the worst ever - Got good and proper stitched up.....but got rid of "mr broadcast" and that felt the best ever!!
God knows what they will have us doing tomorrow!!
A massive big thanks to you and all your shouts of confidence - fingers crossed for tomorrow please.
Lets hope I win!!!! (if i'm not sick from nerves first)
x
(197 views)A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I
can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the
supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the
concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said,
"Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a Woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
(198 views)Yep.....I'm still there!!!
It has been such a laugh....starting to get slightly competitive now tho!
Anyone out there work for Sky?? I may need some info for tomorrows task.
Pleeeeeeeaaaaasssssssseeeeee!!!!!!
Thanks for all your support so far!!! x
(245 views)Phew!!
What a morning!!
Getting on a bus at 5am wasn't pretty but.....
I got through it and have made it to the second day without being fired!!
Tomorrow Girls V Boys....we have to do a jingle.
It's gonna be savage!!! Tune in if you want a laugh!
Moral support will be most appreciated, I'm aiming for the final!!!
(265 views)To all you lovely gorgeous VIPs......
I NEED YOUR HELP!!
In a moment of madness the other day I applied to be an apprentice on the search for Christians Teaboy (Girl).
In a second moment of madness........
THEY'VE SELECTED ME!!!!!!!!
Please please wish me luck for what I am about to enter.
I think I shall need it!!!!
All rootin' and tootin' for me will be most welcome!!!
(265 views)An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands. >>
He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian Barmaid.
As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place.
Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him. As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees.
The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.
This goes on for 5 nights.
On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.
She asks him where he's from in Australia. - "Melbourne", he tells her. "So am I. What suburb?" she enquires.
"Glen Iris" he replies. "That's amazing........." she says excitedly, "..........so am I - what street?"
"Cameo Street" he replies. "This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering. "What number?"
"Number 20", he replies. She is totally >>astonished. "You are NOT going to believe this........", she screams, "but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!"
"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"
(268 views)I have been busy today -
Replying to blogs
Making friends
Entering competitions
and shouting my friends.
Why have I have no kudos for 4 hours, no rising star award and seen my pindex drop by 150??