Katievdh blog on Absolute Radio

The Date

Katievdh — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 07:58:47 +0100

It was pretty naff really.

Nothing went wrong as such, there just wasn't any chemistry. The guy was a bit boring if I'm being honest. But I don't think he really liked me either, so that's ok.

I'm a bit disappointed because I thought I might have found someone, but hey ho, guess there are plenty more fish in the sea and all that.

Just kinda hoping I find someone because living alone is getting lonely sometimes. There's only so much love a computer can give! lol.

First Date

Katievdh — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 12:53:49 +0100

Hey Guys,

I'm going on a first date tonight and I'm dead nervous. We're going bowling and for drinks and I've not a clue what to wear or how to act or anything...

Any tips??

Cheers
xxx

This is what I want...

Katievdh — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 13:21:36 +0100

Totally lovely... I want someone to want this for me :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CYI5bKZMes

Update

Katievdh — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 13:30:16 +0100

Still stuck in the same job as I didn't get the Air Traffic Control job.

I've got some more interviews lined up, which is a good thing as I'm going totally mental here. I think my boss wants rid of me. Just wish she'd come out and say it. It doesn't matter as I plan on being gone from here before Christmas no matter what.

Still single. Which isn't such a good thing. My head is totally messed up by three guys at the mo and I really don't know what I want. As I thought I was going to be moving down South, I foolishly made it known I didn't want a relationship... now I do and it sucks!

I've left my Scout group as it was taking up far too much time. I'm staying with Explorers, but have no commitment or responsibility. Life is just easy.

I'm not totally depressed though - don't worry. I'm still smiling, except when I'm at work, but hey... not long to go!

Love to everyone - what have I missed?

Hello???

Katievdh — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 14:29:34 +0100

Hey Guys,

Just thought I'd drop by and say hello... that's if anyone is still talking to me! :-)

Things with me....

Well, I'm still single, but blooming loving it! I am really enjoying my own company at the mo, and planning lots of holidays with friends, so all is good.

I have two interviews this week (one for Air Traffic Control and the other for a job in a ski chalet). I'm applying for all sorts of different jobs because I'm not certain I know what I want to do (other than ATC) so I'm hoping to find something that I love!

How is everyone? What's been happening? Any gossip??

xxxx

Hayfever

Katievdh — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 08:58:51 +0100

Anyone else suffering from hayfever? I am. It sucks. I can hardly see because my eyes are itchy, swollen and crying, my nose is running and my chest is tight. It's not good.

Last night, it was my foster sister's birthday. We had a small party then I had Scouts AGM (one of the 3 I have to go to). After that, we went to the pub, where I proceeded to tell Chris and Jo (two of my best friends) my shit. They were quite shocked as I held back my tears. Ah well, was good to get it off my chest.

I've been constantly crying though. Mainly due to the fact I REALLY don't want to be here. I hate my job and it's getting me down so badly.

I didn't manage to get weighed last night, or this morning, so I don't know my exact weight - just a guess, but I'm definitely going to lose it!

What you guys up to today?
xxx

Weight Loss...

Katievdh — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 11:33:21 +0100

I've just spent 20 quid to sign up to diet.com - waste of time (AGAIN) when I've got you guys here...

So who wants to lose weight with me.

Without getting weighed, I would say I'm up to 11 stone 8 lbs. Now that's me being totally honest, and I don't think I've ever told anyone that... so there you go. You're priveledged :-)

I want to get down to 9 stone at least. (I'm only 5'3.5")

Me and Rogue63 are on a mission to lose weight... are we going to go on who loses the most percentage wise?

Anyone else want to join in?

Sort it out!

Katievdh — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:58:17 +0100

I've decided to sort my life out.

Thank you all so much for you kind and supportive comments. I really do appreciate them.

I've just joined diet.com and I think if I lose some weight I will make myself so much happier. I realise this is a big step, but now I've decided it, it will sort my head out a bit more.

I got so upset the other day when I found an old friend had referred to me as a "rhino" (mostly a reference to my weight, but also being from Leeds...) I can't go on like this.

All the photos I've had taken lately, I look like a whale. I look happy in all of them, that's true, but when I'm posting them on facebook, or myspace, it gets me down.

I'm sure if I lose some weight I'll be happy so I'm on a mission. Shopping tonight to clear out the crap in my freezer (all the junk food) and buy some fruit and veg.

I actually feel happier already :-)

Thank you all, once again, you've made me smile :-) xxx

Down

Katievdh — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 08:52:54 +0100

I can't understand why I'm so down. If you were to look at me, as an outsider, you would see I've got a decent job, a fantastic family, tons of friends, I volunteer as a Scout Leader and I have my own house.

When you scratch below the surface you see I hate my job, my family are amazing, but it's a struggle with foster kids, my friends are just acquaintances and the only true friend, who actually "gets" me is engaged to another woman and can't actually spend time with me, I'm apparently a bad Scout Leader and my rented house is a total dump.

I feel like crap.

I just wish that for once someone (other than you guys) would actually recognise I need help. I can't go on like this.

I'm not sleeping properly. I'm not eating properly. I'm not living. I really hate my life at the mo.

For the first time in my life I can understand why people get suicidal. Don't get me wrong, I would NEVER do that, I can just understand it that's all.

I was thinking, if I did, I think it would be about a week before anyone actually noticed!

What if

Katievdh — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 19:55:10 +0100

What if I'm alone forever?
What if I will never find true happiness?
What if no-one understands me the way you do?
What if no-one can ever see how much I hurt?
What if I can't stand another second being without you?
How can I hurt anymore?
How can I hurt so much I feel like I'm falling apart?
How can I be me, when I feel like I'm not there?
What if I stay invisible forever?
What if no-one ever notices me?
What if I can never find someone who means as much as you do?
What if no-one notices I'm gone?

Party time!!

Katievdh — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 08:09:22 +0100

I know it's only 8am so most of you won't be up for a party right now, but it's the last chance I'll get today - so much to do for Dad's 50th tonight! I'm really excited!

Things are still really shit otherwise, work, family life (we're losing my foster sister - she has to go into an institution) and just about everything, but we're all forgetting it for tonight.

Dad is going golfing today and thinks I'm cooking him a small meal tonight. He thinks I was mad because Mum had invited more than 10 people! (There's about 50 on the guest list!)

I'm so excited and although I'm worried it won't go to plan, I'm not as well, because I know my Dad will be thrilled no matter what :-)

Hope you all have a lovely day, what are you guys up to? If you're around West Yorkshire - stop off for a party!

GERARD HAS SEEN ABRAHAM!! :-)

xxx

Sick

Katievdh — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 08:47:32 +0100

I walked into work - Caz said I look like shit. I feel it this morning. It's just this place. I'm sick of being here! I'm literally ill from my job!

Dad's meal last night was lovely. Party on Saturday though - lots to look forward to. I really can't wait! I think it will go well.

I'm still worried about my Assistant Scout Leader - confronted him yesterday, and he basically just said I'm a bad leader, I ignore the kids and I'm selfish. He really hurt me, but I just have to get on with it.

I'm still really down about everything, but I have to take everything in bits. Today, for example, I have to deal with filing... Should get my boss off my back. I still hate this place though - I have to find something new.

Sorry to only be posting boring blogs, as soon as I've cheered up, I'll post something good.

I need jokes!!

Aaachooo!

Katievdh — Thu, 31 May 2007 08:45:41 +0100

Hayfever has kicked in full throttle this morning. I've almost been through a roll of toilet paper already!

I'm feeling like total crap and I've broken out in spots and a couple of tiny coldsores are coming along. Not happy at all!!

I'm so tired, despite sleeping lots. Every single one of my mates said I looked like crap last night. And then I almost fell asleep in the car.

Chris, my best mate reckons the reason my other Assistant Scout Leader (ASL) isn't talking to me is because he likes me a lot apparently. I just laughed at this because noone ever really likes me "like that".

I'm the sort of girl who you're friends with. I'm the one who people talk about being fun and full of energy, but not attractive, or fanciable.

My ASL is one of my oldest friends. I've known him since I was 10 so he's like a brother to me. I just never expected this from him.

Dad's birthday is today so going for a meal tonight - party on Saturday - which I'm trying not to get worried about.

I just need sleep.

Don't panic...

Katievdh — Wed, 30 May 2007 14:45:29 +0100

Please don't worry about me, because I'm not down, as such. i'm just about ready to cry my eyes out.

I'm so stressed out. I'm really struggling to cope with all the shit I'm getting thrown at me.

My boss is emailing me constantly saying my figures aren't up to date, I'm not hitting targets, etc. but there's only so much I can do!

I'm dreading Scouts tonight. It's 2 of my assistant's last night. Out of the other 2 left, one is leaving for uni soon and has exams at the mo, the other works evenings and is so irregular with meetings, so I'm at a bit of a loss. Also one of my assistant's isn't talking to me either, which makes it somewhat difficult!

My house is a total tip (main reason for my foul mood) but I don't have time to clean. I can't wait until Sunday when I can actually tidy my house!

Dad's party is Saturday and I haven't received the food stuff from Holland yet. I'm also paranoid guests won't show or it won't be good enough.

I'm steadily getting a programme planned whilst I'm at work, but I've tons to do and I'm not getting through my work either. I'm sick of it all.

Did I mention my friend who is travelling at the mo? She randomly emailed me the other day and wants me to go to Canada with her. If I don't get the job at Probation Service, I'm going. It's a definite now.

I need cheering up... any one liners will do :-) xxx

To do...

Katievdh — Wed, 30 May 2007 10:46:16 +0100

Alongside work and actual day to day life, this is what I've got to do... (in no order)

1) Plan a programme for Scouts

2) Find a new Scout Leader

3) Plan a presentation for interview on 15th

4) Find a costume for Dad's party (old person)

5) Find a costume for camp (T-party)

6) Sort out banners, etc for Dad's party

7) Buy and prepare food for Dad's party

8) Sort out hotel for going to London

9) Lose about 2 stone

10) Claim back bank charges.

Far too much to do! Argh!