KELVIN11 blog on Absolute Radio

`Man Utd fan kills four in Nigeria`

KELVIN11 — Thu, 28 May 2009 15:44:00 +0100

A Man Utd fan in Nigeria has allegely killed four people when he drove into a crowd of Barcelona fans after his team's champions league defeat.

Police said the crowd in the town of Ogbo were celebrating Barcelona,s victory when the minibus drove into them.

A police spokeswoman said ten people were injured and the driver was arrested.

Six truths of life

KELVIN11 — Fri, 01 May 2009 16:06:00 +0100

You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it.The first truth is a lie.Your smiling now, because your an idiot.You soon will forward this to another idiot.There's still a smile on your face.

THE MAN WITH TOO MANY BUTTONS

KELVIN11 — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 12:14:00 +0000

A man on a plane needed to go to the gents,

but every time he went, the toilet was in use.

After a while, the stewardess noticed his predicament

and suggested he use the ladies, but toldhim not

TO TOUCH THE BUTTONS ON THE WALL.

He went in and took his seat. Loking around the room

he saw the buttons marked thus.

WW WA PP ATR

After a while his curiosity got the better of him and he

pressed the button marked WW and warm water washed his bum. He thought this was great,so he pressed the button marked WA and warm air dried his bum, fantastic he thoght. Now more curios than ever, hedecided to press button marked PP out came a powder puff and powderd his bum. He thought the ladys had it made.

He then pressed the last button marked ATR and pased out.

Waking up later in hospital he asked the nurse what had happend and she replied," You pressed the ATR button

which means Automatic Tampax Remover - your penis is under the pillow and your balls are in a bucket under the bed.