Devilinc blog on Absolute Radio

FANTASTIC JOKE AND BACK FROM MY HOLS LOL

Devilinc — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:19:00 +0100

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm
bears

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of
our family holidays in Customs

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I
was never smacked as a child... well maybe one or two grams to get me to
sleep at night


Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people
were given pointed sticks?



My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I
was two, cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t



You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you,
because eventually you get tested. She'll go: 'What's my favourite
flower?' And you murmur to yourself: 'Sh1t, I wasn't listening ... was
it self-raising?'

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought
the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'



Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned
out it was a bloody hoax



Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a
winner and a loser at the same time


A talking dog goes into a hardware store and says: 'I'd like a job
please'.
The hardware store owner says: 'We don't hire dogs, why don't you go
join the circus?' The dog replies: 'What would the circus want with a
plumber'


It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake


If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel,
then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're
trained for that

LAST JOKE/TRUE STORY OF TODAY RADIO FOX FM

Devilinc — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:33:00 +0100

Just imagine sitting in traffic on you way to work and hearing this.

Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.

The DJs play a game where they award winners with great prizes. The game
is
called 'Mate Match'. The DJ's call someone at work and ask if they are
married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers
'yes'
he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The
person
is also to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for
verification. If their partner answers those same 3 questions correctly,
they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big
Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest
thing
you've heard. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: Hey! This is Ed on FOX FM. Have you ever heard of Mate Match?

Contestant: (laughing) Yes, I have.

DJ: Great. Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if
you
win. What is your first name please?

Contestant: Brian.

DJ: Are you married?

Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes I am married.

DJ: Thank you. Now what is your wife's first name?

Brian: Sara.

DJ: Is Sara at work, Brian?

Brian: She is gonna kill me.

DJ: Stay with me here Brian. Is she at work?

Brianlaughing) Yes , she is at work.

DJ: Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?

Brian: About 8 o'clock this morning.

DJ: Thats the boy, Brian!

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well?

DJ: Question 2 - How long did it last?

Brian: About ten minutes.

DJ: Wow! You really want that trip, huh! No one would ever have said
that
if a trip was not at stake.

Brian: Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.

DJ: Okay, final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?

Brian: (laughing hard) I, ummm, I well.....

DJ: This sounds good, Brian, Where was it at?

Brian: Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us
for a
couple of weeks....

DJ: Uh huh.

Brian: and the Mother in law was in the shower at the time.

DJ: Thats the boy, Brian!

Brian: On the kitchen table.

DJ: Not that great? That is more adventure than the previous hundred
times
I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work
number and call her up. You listen to this.

(3 minutes of commercials follow)

DJ: Okay audience, lets call Sara, shall we (Touch tones ringing)

Clerk: Hello.

DJ: Hey, is Sara there?

Clerk: This is Sara.

DJ: Sara, this is Ed on FOX FM. We are live on the air right now and
I've
been talking with Brian.

Sara: (laughing) oh ok?

DJ: Well, He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give
any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooo... do you know the rules of Mate
Match?

Sara: No.

DJ: Good.

Brian (laughing).

Sara (laughing) Brian what the hell are you up to?

Brian: Just answer the questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.

DJ: Yeah, yeah Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sara. If your
answers
match Brians answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast
for 5 days on us.

Sara: Ok.

DJ: Alright. When did you last have sex, Sara?

Sara: Oh God Brian..........uh, this morning before Brian went to work.

DJ: What time?

Sara: Around 8 this morning.

DJ: Very good. Next question. How long did it last?

Sara: 12, 15 minutes maybe.

DJ: Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sara. You are one question away
from
a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?

Sara: Yes.

DJ: Where did you have it?

Sara: OH MY GOD BRIAN! You did not tell them that did you?

Brian: Just tell them honey.

DJ: Come on Sara.... were running out of time?

Sara: Well.....

DJ: Come on Sara.... where did you have it?

Sara: Up the ar$e.

After a long pause, the DJ said, Folks, we need to take a station break.

And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!!!!!!!

COFFEE LOUNGE NOW OPEN

Devilinc — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:39:00 +0100

Hey come in and have a chat and a drink and whatever else you fancy lol

GETTING OLD

Devilinc — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:04:00 +0100

Old people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of
his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and
bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this
first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand,
but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
arm pit and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

DEVILINCS NEW COFFEE LOUNGE IS NOW OPEN

Devilinc — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:11:00 +0100

Hi to one and all of my devilish people the new and improved lounge is now open and with a new design look personally designed by me lol

well come in let your hair down or in some cases take your wigs off lol and come and order food or drink or just for a chat.

This lounge is just for you naughty devilish people lol

Has everyone gone to sleep if not where are you?

Devilinc — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 12:53:00 +0100

Hey has this site gone quiet and has everyone fallen asleep or something, as i came back here to liven up this place with fun and games but as of the moment it isn't very lively i need you lot to get involved.

hey kooky i know that they are sending you the copy of the song but here is it for you as well from devilinc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh0pu3HhnfY

what sort of things do you people want in games, subjects and fun?

WHERE HAVE YOU HAD IT LOL

Devilinc — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:47:00 +0100

Hey my first major blog and what a way to start off, now i know this question has been asked before but hey we might all got a bit randier and naughtier since it was last asked?

Where was the most daring and riskiest place you have ever had sex?

mine was a graveyard (how fitting of me)

I'M BACK - MAY THE GAMES BEGIN LOL

Devilinc — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 12:30:00 +0100

When you thought it was safe to return and open your eye's the big red machine is back and bigger, naughtier in many different ways lol

It is time to put out the cat, listen up and realise that the big red machine is here and ready to cause havoc and be as rude and even ruder than before so be prepared for I AM BACK lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98cqae6b6d0

Hey keep the game going please and 12pm tomorrow

Devilinc — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:21:00 +0100

hey please keep the game going you naughty vips lol

http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/vip/profile/Devilinc/blog/80103/Naughtiest_Game_Ever_lol/page9.html

Also tomorrow at 12pm all will be revealed lol

xxx

Hey Who would you send to Hell + Keep it Up lol

Devilinc — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:27:00 +0100

If you could send someone to hell who would it be? former friends, vips, ex wife or husbands etc

I would send my ex wife lol

Also please keep this fun game going and lets keep it even naughtier than before lol

http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/vip/profile/Devilinc/blog/80103/Naughtiest_Game_Ever_lol/page8.html

Keep it going you wonderful naughty people lol

Devilinc — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:07:00 +0100

Hey this story is just getting interesting so please keep it up in many ways lol

http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/vip/profile/Devilinc/blog/80103/Naughtiest_Game_Ever_lol/page4.html

hey make it even riskier and naughtier that vr go blind lol

Hey fantastic vips please keep this going

Devilinc — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 14:14:00 +0100

Hi please carry on the game and make it even more extreme and naughtier lol

http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/vip/profile/Devilinc/blog/80103/Naughtiest_Game_Ever_lol/page3.html

Wonderful fantastic Vips please keep the game going and have fun

Devilinc — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 09:13:00 +0100

Please keep the game going and make it even naughtier and funnier than before

http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/vip/profile/Devilinc/blog/80103/Naughtiest_Game_Ever_lol.html#comments

Naughtiest Game Ever lol

Devilinc — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 16:23:00 +0100

Well it is game time lol and this will be the best because you are going to come up with the next lines ok the first line is

I was feeling frisky today and i decided to have a fiddle around the office and

Now please continue and have fun + make it rude and naughty lol

Top Dream List

Devilinc — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 15:17:00 +0100

Hey Ladies and Gentlemen in life we all have a list of who we like and fancy well it is time to be honest and let it out yes it is time to reveal your top 5 list of who you would run off with (hey i know i am in there lol) have sex with or even worst marry lol

whether it be male or female i want to know and here is mine for a start:

1) Jennifer Ellison

2) Holly willoughby

3) Amy Nuttall

4) Nicola roberts

5) Blackcat69 lol

Now let me know your list lol hey this is a bit of fun so come on have fun and reveal all to me lol