Blackcat69 blog on Absolute Radio

Wishing all my fellow VIPers a very, Merry Christmas xxxxx

Blackcat69 — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 08:49:00 +0000

2008's First Christmas Joke xxx

Blackcat69 — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 09:48:00 +0000

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Christmas Season Begins......

Have a Rocking weekend everyone xxxx

Blackcat69 — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:58:00 +0000

Happy Humpity, humpity hump day VIPers!

Blackcat69 — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 08:31:00 +0000

GOOOOOOOOD MOOOORRRRRRNNNNIIINNNG VIPERS!

Have a Terrific Tuesday VIPers!

Blackcat69 — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 09:27:00 +0000

Goooooood Moooooorrrrrrrnnniiiinnnggggg!!!

Dodgeball

Blackcat69 — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:13:00 +0000

Anyone watch the movie? It has the funniest lines which involve balls - of course - hilarious.

Quotes from the movie:

~ Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.~

White Goodman

~ Your Gym is a skid-mark on the underpants of society.~

White Goodman

Dodgeball was never so much fun when I was in school!

lol!

Cuckoo clock

Blackcat69 — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:32:00 +0000

A friend was explaining why she ought not to go out for a drink for some time.....

The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed ... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 Cuckoos - MIDNIGHT!

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in ... I told him "MIDNIGHT"... He didn't seem p_off in the least.

Whew ... I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh sh_t." Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

Where's it gone?

Blackcat69 — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:39:00 +0000

Hello my fellow VIPers

Just thought you'd like to see some :)

lol!

xxxxxxxx

Remembrance Sunday

Blackcat69 — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 22:30:00 +0000

Hello my fellow VIPers

http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/vip/profile/Blackcat69/blog/96115/Rememberance_Day.html#comment

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4 Cats

Blackcat69 — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 19:06:00 +0000

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.' T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.' Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.' Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good. Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?' The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.' CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet....... ate the cookies........ drank the milk....... sh*t on the paper....... screwed the other three cats....... claimed he injured his back while doing so....... filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions....... put in for Workers Compensation...............and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave............

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANT’S TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

Rememberance Day

Blackcat69 — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:50:00 +0000

Hello my fellow VIPers

This month always makes me a bit melancholy as this weekend is Rememberance Day.

My uncle was taken away when he was 7 to work on the death railway in Malaysia but survived and is a man, now in his 70's.

My grandfather hid local Chinese from the Japanese during the occupation.

My mother was a baby [born in 1940] and was so fair skinned the Japanese nearly took her away and killed her thinking my grandmother was harbouring a Chinese baby.

My Gran used to pinch my mother to make her cry, she also used to save soiled nappies and quickly put her in them so the soldiers wouldn't want to pick her up.

War is hard. When are we going to learn?

On that note, please wear a poppy and send good thoughts and wishes to all our men and women in service, and their loved ones.

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Remember, remember the 5th of November!

Blackcat69 — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:36:00 +0000

Hello my fellow VIPers!

Guy Fawkes night is here again. For my fellow VIPers from across the pond - Guy Fawkes tried and failed to blow up parliament on the 5th November 1605. I gues he was probably one of the first terrorists.

For those of you who are going out tonight to watch a fireworks display somewhere near you, wrap up warm and don't get food poisoning from the hot dog stall :)

xxxxxxxxxxx

VIPers meet

Blackcat69 — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 23:01:00 +0000

Hey all,

Fancy having a meet up - that is those of us in this region?

I reckon Worcester would be a good place.

Whatcha think?

51 Days to Christmas

Blackcat69 — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:42:00 +0000

Hi fellow AR VIPers. I've had a busy day today. Have some time off work and had to go and collect all the pressies we bought off e-bay [firm believer in a bargain] for the kids.

Well, first I was on the motroway to Manchester - oh only about a 196 mile round trip then I had to go down the road from where I live to collect more pressies. All in all, I have been driving since 10 am and only got home at 1600!

Don't know how any of you fellow VIPers do this for a living, as much as it was fun to drive at an average speed of 88.9 [yes, I know, I'm a naughty kitty - so spank me - lol], it was still rather tiring.

At least I had Absolute to listen to.....

Just remember...only 51 days till Christmas......xxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you darling VIPers!

Blackcat69 — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:48:00 +0000

To all my wonderful friends here on AR

for all the birthday shouts and blog comments!

I shall thank you all individually soon

Kissess

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This one's for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64oYfdq8mKc