Aldavemiller blog on Absolute Radio

Thanks to Bellis

Aldavemiller — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 09:35:00 +0100

Whilst watching one of the videos from Bellis' blog I saw this and thought I had to post it. It is one of the best music vids I have ever seen, great music too!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og1HAkjOuL0&mode=related&search=

Three Engineers.....

Aldavemiller — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 16:50:00 +0100

Three engineers, all with different degrees were sitting in a park watching there kids play and discussing the amazing abilities of the human body.

The first engineer was convinced, "The human body must have been created by a mechanical engineer, it is so obvious, look at all of the joints and the mechanical perfection of how they all work together."

The second engineer had a different explanation "It was definitely designed by an electrical engineer, just observe how the hand eye coordination is controlled by all the nerve connections, which are basically electronic circuits. The mechanical bit is just some good luck for the human body!"

The third engineer looked at the other two and said "You are both way off the mark, the human body was designed by a Civil engineer!!"

The other two engineers shared a look and burst out laughing, "What has bridge building got to do with the human body?" scoffed the mechanical engineer.

The third engineer laughs and says "It is so obviously designed by a civil engineer, who else would put a toxic waste pipe in an adventure playground??!!"

Whilst Poetry is in vogue....

Aldavemiller — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 15:49:00 +0100

This is probably my favourite, as we all need to slow to light speed and appreciate what is about us now, and not just mourn it when it is no more!!

What is this life if full of care

We have no time to stand and stare?

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep, or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this, if full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare

W H Davies

Another Mime, Natalie Imbruglia, Torn

Aldavemiller — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 14:23:00 +0100

This is absolute class!!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=osnUB9bUm-E&mode=related&search=

Monday Morning Cheer

Aldavemiller — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 08:42:00 +0100

Someone has a sense of humour!!

And I thought I was having a Bad Day!!

Aldavemiller — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 17:24:00 +0100

Dare I Post This??

Aldavemiller — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 15:25:00 +0100

I Know How He Feels!!!

Aldavemiller — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 15:17:00 +0100

IT Engineers are being paid less, here's why!!

Aldavemiller — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 16:50:00 +0100

Mis-diagnosis can be painful

Aldavemiller — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:49:00 +0100

A man went to see his doctor complaining of blinding headaches. The pain was so intense that once a headache started he could do absolutely nothing. No medication worked, not even migraine tablets.

The doctor checked him over and finally said, "I have only ever seen one case like this reported in medical journals and I don't think that you will like the cure."

"Doc, I don't care what it involves, you have to get rid of these headaches. The pain starts at my left temple and then moves around to the right, then it starts to pulse like mad. They are becoming more frequent and I can't live my life like this!!!"

"Well," said the doctor "the only cure is castration!"

"Hang on, let's not be too hasty here. Is there no other choice at all, no tablets, no injections???"

"This is the only certain cure, I said you wouldn't like it!!"

The man thinks about it and finally says "OK doc, schedule the operation."

After the operation, when the man is back on his feet, the headaches have completely stopped, the sense of relief is unimaginable.

Eventually the man decides he needs some new clothes to help disguise his loss.

He decides to splash out on himself by way of celebration and goes to a bespoke tailor.

The tailor busies himself taking every measurement there is. When he is about to do the inside leg he asks "Excuse me sir, but which side do you dress?"

The man is really embarrassed and tries to stall "Is it all that important?"

"Oh yes" says the tailor "if you don't get it right, you get these violent headaches that start at your left temple and then move to the right...........

God moves in mysterious ways

Aldavemiller — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:19:00 +0100

Adam is sitting in the garden of Eden, feeling very sorry for himself and making everything else miserable.

God sees this and asks Adam what the matter is.

"Well it's like this God, You have given me this lovely place to live, with all this fantastic food and all the wonders of the garden to look at, but I am very lonely. There is no-one to talk to."

God ponders this and says, "I have an idea, how about I make you a mate, someone who will look after all your needs. They will be a companion to share your thoughts and dreams and also your fears, they will comfort you when you are scared and keep you warm when you are cold. They will be your sexual partner so that you can continue the species. They will feed you and make you clothes, and to top it off they will be beautiful to behold."

Adam is a little cautious, he knows how God works, "And what is this going to cost me?"

God replies "An arm and a leg"

Adam thinks about it for a moment and responds "What can i get for a rib?"

Bridging the Gap

Aldavemiller — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 13:50:00 +0100

A man was walking along a beach when God spoke to him.

"My son, this is your Lord. I want to grant you a wish to reward you for all your efforts and sacrifices during your lifetime."

The man was somewhat taken aback and immediately started thinking about world peace, ending disease and poverty.

God soon put him straight though, " This is a gift that I want to bestow on you, a desire that would otherwise not happen."

The man thought long and hard and finally said "God, I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I am morbidly afraid of flying and cannot go by boat because I suffer from debilitating sea sickness. Could you build a bridge to Hawaii for me?"

Now it was God's turn to be startled, "A bridge all the way to Hawaii, do you know how far that is? It cannot be done, think of something else!"

"OK Lord" replies the man, "I would like to understand women, how they think, how their minds work."

God thinks about this for a minute, "Do you want two or four lanes on that bridge!!"

Why Phone-in shows are not a good idea!!

Aldavemiller — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 09:30:00 +0100

Ex-President

Aldavemiller — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 14:12:00 +0100

As a former President, Bill Clinton is still entitled to a Secret Service bodyguard.

Bill was out having lunch in a little mom n pop restaurant with his bodyguard. The Secret Service man sat at a table where he could keep an eye on proceedings.

Bill read the menu and signalled for the very attractive young waitress to take his order.

As she neared the table she could see the former President eyeing her curves appreciatively.

When she asked what he would like, the response was " I really fancy a Quicky" at which point she slapped his face and stormed off.

After a few minutes to compose herself, she went back to the table and said " I hope your manners have improved Mr President, I will not allow people to talk to me like that"

The response came " Well my feelings haven't changed a bit, I still really fancy a quicky!"

This was too much for the waitress and she slaps him around the face again and heads to the kitchen.

At which point the bodyguard leans across to Bill and says "Excuse me Mr President, but I think you'll find it's pronounced Quiche"

Men's Health

Aldavemiller — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 11:35:00 +0100

Oh so true!!!