....Chrissie.... blog on Absolute Radio

It Could Have Been Worse ;)

....Chrissie.... — Mon, 04 May 2009 23:23:00 +0100

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say ''It could have been worse.'' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.

So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

Joe asked, ''Where's Gary?''

And one of his friends said, ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''

Joe says,''Well it could have been worse.''

Both his friends said, ''How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!''

Joe says, ''If it had happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!''

Betrayed and Heatbroken!!

....Chrissie.... — Mon, 04 May 2009 00:24:00 +0100

Betrayal, a form of deception or dismissal of prior presumptions, is the breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract (trust, or confidence) that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations.

Well i m a night owl tonight... Can t sleep!! See... I was double crossed by a very good friend of mine who i trusted with eyes closed!! Now i m usually quite good at reading people...been spot on many times...So it pretty much came as a punch in the face when this person betrayed me in the worst possible way...I know u might think of it as a 20yr old s silly problems...Well no....It was about family... My family.... i seriously can t get over it....Lying in bed betrayed and heartbroken.... Shows you u never really know who to trust!!!!

What Would You Do??

....Chrissie.... — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 13:10:00 +0100

A middle-aged man returns home from a business trip a day early, concerned that his wife may be having an affair. He’s riding in a taxi at about 2:00 in the morning back towards his house, when he explains his situation to the taxi driver.

It’s after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

He explains to the cabbie that he suspects his wife is sleeping around on him, and offers the him $50 if he would be a witness to the affair, if he could catch her in bed with him. By the time they reach his house, the cabbie agrees.

They park a few doors down and, quietly, sneak into the front door and up the stairs. Then, with a burst of speed, the husband flicks on the bedroom lights and rips the blanket off the bed - and there his wife lays in bed with another man!

Out of his coat pocket, the visibly distraught husband pulls out a gun and puts it to the naked man’s head. Just then, his wife yells “Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited all that money!…”

HE paid for the Mercedes I gave you.HE paid for our new cabin in the mountains.HE paid for your Atlanta Braves season tickets.HE paid for our our lakehouse and boat.HE paid for your country club membership, and and HE even pays the monthly dues!’

Shaking his head, unsure of whether to pull the trigger, he looks over at the taxi driver and asks “What should I do?”

The taxi driver replies, “I’d cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.”

Heeeey all

....Chrissie.... — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:16:00 +0100

Welli m offly jolly today and don t know why!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejEVczA8PLU

(See what i mean?? )

Hope u all are having a great day...........

xxx

Woooohooo!!!!!!!!

....Chrissie.... — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:54:00 +0100

Ok..I Have to admit...When i signed on today and saw all those shouts i though..."Who did i piss off this time!?!?" Cause really i did give up hope seeing all the new and amazing Vipers being given the title lol....So i kinda feel like this right now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJej6kCgxVM

:P :P

And in fear of becoming what these guys would say

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoXLu9Rz70g

i just want to thank u all for ur shouts and ur congrats... And i want to say that all of u are pretty amazing ppl!!!!

xoxoxox

30+1 Interesting Facts

....Chrissie.... — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:03:00 +0100

1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.

2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”.

6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

11. Dalmatians are born without spots.

12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

13. The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for ‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or ‘against’ (in criminal proceedings).

14. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.

15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.

16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.

17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.

18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.

19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.

21. The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.

23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor.

25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.

26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.

27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.

28.The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.

30.Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”

31.Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

A Husband's Moment of Realization

....Chrissie.... — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:35:00 +0100

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said,"You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

Earth Hour

....Chrissie.... — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:13:00 +0000

Earth Hour started in 2007 in Sydney, Australia with 2.2 million homes and businesses turning their lights off for one whole hour. Only a year later and this event had become a global sustainability movement with up to 100 million people across 35 countries participating. Global landmarks such as the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, Rome’s Colosseum and the Coca Cola billboard in Times Square, all stood in darkness, as symbols of hope for a cause that grows more urgent by the hour.

Today at 8:30 pm don t forget to join the call to action and turn off your light for one hour.

www. earthhour.org Sign up and be counted

Few quickies!!

....Chrissie.... — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 19:45:00 +0000

1.What did the nut say to the bolt?

Screw me.

2.What's another name for pickled bread?

Dill dough.

3.What's the ultimate rejection?

When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

4.What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but a shame to pull it out.

5.What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?

One's a Goodyear; the other's a great year

6.How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?

It ain't hard...

7.What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?

Bubblegum -- and you should be ashamed of yourself.

8.What's about six inches long and produces a white, frothy substance when rubbed back and forth and in and out?

Duh! A toothbrush.

The Prognosis....

....Chrissie.... — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:47:00 +0000

A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said,

"Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

Wish u all a gr8 rest of the day :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJej6kCgxVM&feature=related

xxx

Good Evening All

....Chrissie.... — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 18:48:00 +0000

Hey all...Hope you had a great weekend...Here s a song i m really growing fond of...Hope you like it... :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7XuvwKY8V4&feature=PlayList&p=7836D3404568097F&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=12

xxxxx

Nudist Colony...

....Chrissie.... — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:39:00 +0100

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did you call for me?' The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?' She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer. 'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.'

The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.

The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist. 'May I help you?' she asked.

'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'

'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'

:D xx

Off to Cyprus...

....Chrissie.... — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:24:00 +0100

Good Morning beloved vipies.... Well the days past so fast and tomorrow i fly to Cyprus and i ll be staying there for a few weeks :) Of course, like a typical Greek, i left everything for the last moment and now i got to rush into getting them done....lol i couldn t be bothered though... Lol i feel i m gonna miss u all...ur blogs...the station...Anyway i have to go now....but just in case i don t come on later on just wanna thank u all for being such wonderful and fun to-talk-to people.. Wish u all a gr8 summer...Take care and stay true.. Tell me..have u got plans for the summer?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk&feature=user

xoxoxoxox

What Mom s Taught me....

....Chrissie.... — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 10:31:00 +0100

This is for all of the mothers of the world who lovingly try to teach their kids some of life's most important lessons. In the end, little brats just end up growing into bigger brats without learning a thing, but hey, at least mothers try their best to teach them something along the way!

My Mother Taught Me About...

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...

"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....

"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...

"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...

"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...

"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And last but not least...

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

Have a wonderful day everyone :)

xxooxx

Politics...

....Chrissie.... — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:32:00 +0100

"Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."

"Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"

"I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.

"Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

"Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

"Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."