....Chrissie.... blog on Absolute Radio

Nudist Colony...

....Chrissie.... — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:39:15 +0100

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did you call for me?' The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?' She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer. 'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.'

The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.

The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist. 'May I help you?' she asked.

'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'

'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'

:D xx

Off to Cyprus...

....Chrissie.... — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:24:14 +0100

Good Morning beloved vipies.... Well the days past so fast and tomorrow i fly to Cyprus and i ll be staying there for a few weeks :) Of course, like a typical Greek, i left everything for the last moment and now i got to rush into getting them done....lol i couldn t be bothered though... Lol i feel i m gonna miss u all...ur blogs...the station...Anyway i have to go now....but just in case i don t come on later on just wanna thank u all for being such wonderful and fun to-talk-to people.. Wish u all a gr8 summer...Take care and stay true.. Tell me..have u got plans for the summer?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk&feature=user

xoxoxoxox

What Mom s Taught me....

....Chrissie.... — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 10:31:30 +0100

This is for all of the mothers of the world who lovingly try to teach their kids some of life's most important lessons. In the end, little brats just end up growing into bigger brats without learning a thing, but hey, at least mothers try their best to teach them something along the way!

My Mother Taught Me About...

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...

"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....

"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...

"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...

"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...

"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And last but not least...

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

Have a wonderful day everyone :)

xxooxx

Politics...

....Chrissie.... — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:32:34 +0100

"Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."

"Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"

"I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.

"Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

"Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

"Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."

Adios!!

....Chrissie.... — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 12:20:11 +0100

Well my beloved Vips i really do enjoy ur company but reality calls!! i ll see u all tomorrow...do take care... once again Happy B-day Edge.....And paul... i ll get u ur beer no worries ;) .... Here s a song to all of u vipers who enjoy Happy Hump days... ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyQ2UFuo7E0 xxxxxx

Goooooooood morning :)

....Chrissie.... — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:06:46 +0100

Morning my fav Vips...hope all is well this fine Wednesday... nice and sunny here in Greece :) here are a few tips u ought to now :P

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked ... with beer.

;) ;) ;)

xxxx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaTL6VAr2RY&feature=related

morning all..

....Chrissie.... — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:31:02 +0100

morning everyone... do hope everyone s ok.. whether their at home,school,work or about to go buy groceries :P ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgFwiCApH7E&NR=1

this song s been stuck in my head for days now...

xxxxx

Goodevening all...

....Chrissie.... — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:45:54 +0100

Well my fellow vipers as much as i enjoy ur company i ve got to go.... :( tty tomorrow... have a great sexy rest of the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbsBJmx-m2s

xxxxxxxxx

Final Life Lesson 5

....Chrissie.... — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:28:06 +0100

Ok everyone...ready for the final lesson? Here goes.... Lesson 5/5 A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there

Life Lesson 4

....Chrissie.... — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:49:48 +0100

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle, looked up and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

goodevening vips..

....Chrissie.... — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:28:21 +0100

i was going through my cd drawer today and came across a cassette my gradfather had given me years ago...... on it there s one particular song that always reminds me of my gramps sitting in his chair with his pipe in his mouth and smiling to the sound of that song...gave him hope he said... Indeed this song can only put nth else but a smile on ur face... A beautiful song from an amazing artist.. So my beloved vips i d like to share this song with u and remind u that perhaps there just might be more good in this world than we think? An see things a bit more optimistically.. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5IIXeR5OUI

xxx

Life Lesson 3

....Chrissie.... — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:25:48 +0100

A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie pops out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish'. 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas driving a speedboat, without a care in the world'. Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of some Pina Coladas and the love of my life'. Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up', the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'. Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Life Lesson 2

....Chrissie.... — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 14:35:59 +0100

A priest offered a nun a lift. As she sat in the car, she could not help but reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' He removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak'. Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Life Lesson 1

....Chrissie.... — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 14:43:54 +0100

A man is getting into the shower as his wife is getting out, when the doorbell rings. She quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs down the stairs. She opens the door to Fred, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Fred says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, she drops it and stands naked in front of Fred After a few seconds, Fred hands her $800 and leaves. Wrapping herself in the towel, as she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks: 'Who was that?' 'It was Fred from next door,' she replies. 'Great!' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders (and Management team), in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

hello?

....Chrissie.... — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 14:39:52 +0100

Is it me or these past few days it s been very quiet here? I suppose it s because of the weekend perhaps? Hope everyone s having a great weekend outside somewhere and not stuck at home alone... :) xxx