Pun Street Yellow Pages

The complete list


Pun Street: A - L

Accountancy - Many Happy Returns
Airplane Valet - Rise & Shine
Animal Acting Agency - Paws For Effect
Animal Neutering - Ace Of Speys
Antique Doll Specialist - Dollectibles

Antiques - Traders of the Lost Art
Aquatic supplies & fish shop - It's Pondamonium!

Art supplies - Gallery Singleton
Baby Goods - My Crib Rocks
Bakers - R Daley Bread
Balloon Shop - Hullaballoon
Barbers Salon - Choppy Toff's

Barbers (Military) - Defence Cuts
Beauty Salon - Facial Attraction
Bed Linen - Holy Sheet
Bed Shop - Beddy Buys
Bike Shop & Repairs - Mud, Sweat and Gears
Bird Sanctuary - Owlcatraz
Boat Sales - Boatylicious

Bowling Alley - Spare Time
Brewery - A Brew Kedabrew (owned by a magician)
Burger Van - Only Food & Sauces

Cake Shop - Much Ado About Muffins
Car audio specialists - Car Toonz
Car dealers, specialising in Fords - Harris On Ford
Car Servicing - Carnossieur
Car Body Repairs - Dire Scrapes
Car Recovery - Crash and Carry
Car Spray Painting - Let Us Spray
Caribbean Restaurant - Jamaican Me Hungry
Carpenters - Woodnail & I
Carpet Fitters - Himalaya Carpets
Carpet/ Rug Cleaners - Captain RugWash

Carpet and flooring retalier - Floors Truly
Casino - Cashino
Cattery - The Pawchester

CCTV & Security - BDi CCTV
CD Sleeve manafacturers - A CD Sleeve
Cement mixers - Jim'll Mix It

Cheese Shop - C'est Cheese
Children's Play Centre - Bairns Necessity
Children's clothing store department (in XXXL and all that - an outsize clothing shop) - Plus and Minors

Chinese restaurant - Kung Fusion
Chip Shop - Madame Batterfry

Christmas tree shop - Pines & Needles
Cleaners - Spruce Springclean
Coat shop, especially Trench coats - Trench Connection

Coffee shop - Cuppeateano's
Coffee Machine Repairs - Caffeine Fix
Computer Shop - Bytes and PC's

Computer repairs (Apple products) - iPatch
Concrete Drillers - Natural Born Drillers
Construction - Nelly Development

Corner Shop - Singhsburys
Courier - Foxes classier Sprints
Cowboy supplies - Indiana Jeans

Crazy Golf - Jurassic Par
Crockery design - Craic Pots

Curtain/Blind Shop - Hung Drawn and Altered
Damp proofing - Dampbusters
Decking specialist - Woody Wood Decker

Dental nurse temp agency - Fill Ins
Dentist - Nothing but the Tooth
DIY - Jolly Bodger
Dog Boarding - Muttlins
Dog Groomers - Emma Scissor Hands (replacing Indiana Bones & the Temple of Groom in a slightly destructive session in the chamber)

Dog Training - Sit Happens
Dog Walking - Houndstretchers
Dog waste collectors - Tour of doodie
Donut Shop - Glazed & Infused
Dressmakers - Make It Sew

Dressmakers (for transgender shoppers) - Hide & Sleek
Drive through Off Licence - Toot'n'Come in
Driving Instructor - 'L' Passo

Dry Cleaners - Crease Lightning
Egg Supplies - Cluck Hen Brilliant
Electrical appliances testing - Socket & See
English Restaurant - Breakfast at Timothy's
Fake snow for the entertainment industry - Snowbusiness

Eyebrow Salon - Browhaus
Falafel Restaurant - Moorish
Fathers & Toddlers Group - Men Behaving Dadly

Festival Catering (Indian food) - Asian Grub Foundation
Fireworks - Bangers and Flash
Fish pedicure shop - Bon Apperfeet
Fishing trips - Fish'n'Trips
Fishmongers - Prawnbrokers
Florist - Floral & Hardy

Franking - Franking Sense
Frozen Haulage Specialist - Super Calibre Frigo Logistic Import Export Davis
Fudge Shop - Fudge The Issue
Funerals - Mourning Glory
Furniture - Wood You Like Company
Garden Maintenance - Weed It & Reap
Ghost Bus Tours - Ghost Bus-Tours
Golf shop - Charles De Golf
Grate and fireplace shop - Flamebuoyant
Grave maintanence - Grave Concerns
Greek Restaurant - Aesop's Tables
Gym - Ab-Salute
Hairdressers (Ladies) - Salon Lebon
Hairdressers (Gents, see Barbers)

Hand bags - Handbags at Dawns

Haulage - Freight to the Point
Hen Housing - Fowlty Towers
Hog Roasters - Piggy in the Griddle
Horse Sanctuary - Only Foals and Horses

Horse Transport - Only Foals and Horses (!)
Hosiery - Thigh's The Limit
Hot Dog stand - Sgt Pepper's Only Hotdog Stand
Hotel - The Welcome Inn
Ice Delivery Service - Ice To Meet You
Indian restaurant - Poppadom Preach

Ink Cartridge Refills - Re-Ink-Our-Nation
International pet transfers - Transfur

Investment Agent - Investor Morse
Jewellers - Indivi-jewel-istic
Joiners Van - Chisel Me Timbers
Kebab van that?s a converted Ambulance - Kebambulance
Knitting accessories - World of Woolcraft
Landscapes - Marquis de Sod
Laundrette - Wish You Wash Here
Letting Agency - Letters of Distinction
Lingerie shop - Bare Necessities
Llama sales - Dial a Llama
Lock Smith - Sure Lock Homes
Loft Converters - Lofts In Space


Pun Street: M - Z

Maternity Wear - Womb To Grow
Meals on Wheels - On Trays
Meat delivery - Meat At Your Place

Mechanic - Intensive Car Unit
MediŠval re-enactments - Joust For Fun
Mens Clothing - Brick Shirt House
Mexican Food Campervan - Chilli Gone Barmy
Milkshake parlour - Eskimoo
Mini Golf - Liliputt
Mobile bike fixer - The Spokesman
Mobile car valet - Foamula One
Mobile Disco and Karaoke - Amp and Decks
Mobile seafood shack - Eels on Wheels
Mobility Aids - Cane and Able

Movie catering - Cecil B de Meals
Music instrument casing - Protection Racket
Music instrument shop - Beat 'n' Track
Nail Salon - Cute Ickle
Nappy services - Rock a Dry Baby
Native American Gift Shop - Sioux Venirs
Nepalese burgers - YakDonalds
Novelist themed T Shirts - Novel-T
Oatcake vendor - The Oatcake Corral
Off License - The Grogfather
Opticians - For Eyes
Owl ringbearers - Flying the Knot
Painter and Decorator - Luther Van Gloss
Pancake restaurant - Wholly Crepe
Paper Shredding - Right Let's Shred
Pawnbrokers - Cash 22
Pet Shop - Tyrannosaurus Pets
Pest Control - Flock Off (specialising in birds)
Pharmacy delivery service - Instant Pharma
Picture Framing - Prints Charming
Pie Shop - Sir-Pies Sir-Pies
Piercings - Holier Than Thou

Pillow and Cushion Shop - Much Ado About Stuffing
Pizza restaurant - All Pizzas Great & Small

Plastering firm - Mortar Life
Plumber's Merchants - Napoleon Boiler Parts
Plumbers - Duane Pipe

Plumbers (female only staff) - Stopcocks
Podiatrist - Saving Soles
Pond retailer - Gentleman Prefer Ponds
Portaloo Company - WC Infields
Pub - The Bitter Suite
Quilt makers - Quilty Pleasures
Record Shop - Criminal Records
Recording studio - Shabbey Road
Recruitment (Renewable energy sector) - Earth, Wind & Hire
Removals - Jean Claude Van Man
Roofing Merchant - Slates & Ladders
Sandwich shop - Snack My Wich Up
Scrap Dealers - Rust in Peace
Scottish Ice Cream Van - Phil McCone
Scottish tat shop - Thistle Do Nicely
Second Hand Record Shop - Vinyl Resting Place
Second hand wedding dresses - Brides Dress Revisited

Shed shop - Ready Sheddy Go
Shoe repair - That's Shoe Business
Shoe Shop - Shoenanigans
Shooting Gallery - Rick O'Shea's Shooting Club
Signmakers - Mad Sign-tists

Skateboard shop - The Boardroom
Skip Hire - Battleskips
Snake shop - Snakes & Adders
Soup Restaurant - Soup'urb

Speciality Butcher - Halal is it meat you're looking for?
Sports Shop - M
erchant of Tennis
Snooker Hall - Cue Gardens
Stained Glass windows shop - Kiss My Glass

Storage Facility - Fort Box
Strip Bar - Moll Teaser
Stripping/refurbishment - Jack The Stripper
Surfing and Diving Equipment - Reef Encounter

Surf School & adventures - Board Silly
Sweet Shop - Bon Appe-sweet
Synthetic Grass suppliers - Leave Us A Lawn
Tailor - Touching Cloth
Tank Hire - Tanks for Everything
Tanning Shop - U Rang A Tan
Tapas Restaurant - Octapas
Tattoo Parlour - Pimp My Hide
Taxi - Chariots of Hire
Taxidermist - Get Stuffed

Teddy bear shop - Bearly in Business
Team building, using sheep - Raise the baa
Thai Restaurant - Old School Thai

Theatrical Stage Combat & Fight Choreogrpahy - Rapier Wit
They press your ashes into an LP! - And Vinyly
Tiling Company - Bonnie Tilers
Traditional Butcher - Love Meat Tender
Tree Surgeon - Take a Bough
Tyre Service - Father Treads
Underfloor heating - Terra Therma
Vegetable box delivery service - Close To The Veg
Vegetarian Restaurant - Veggie Perrin
Video rental - Planet of the Tapes
Video Game Store - Console Yourself
Video Gaming Cafe - Level Up
Village Shop - G. G. Granvilles
Vintage bikes - Old Spokes Home
Vintage Clothes - Change of A Dress
War Memorabilia Store - Norman D Landing
Waste & Cess Pit Cleaning -Suck Ces
Water Sports - Nauti Buoys
Wheelie Bin cleaning - Wheelie Kleen
Wifi hotspot - Pretty Fly for a wifi
Window Cleaners - Mr. Bit
Window Fitters - Pane in the Glass
Wine Merchants - Planet of the Grapes
Winnebago Hire - Vroom with a View
Wood flooring suppliers - Floors For Thought

Yoghurt & Frozen Yoghurt - Yogo Ono

Pun Street is twinned with Punny La Rue in France, home to glassmakers Savoir Verre.


Charming Alley

Air conditioning - Stiff Nipples
Antique Dealers - Your Aunty Used to Have One but She Threw it Away
Bed store - Happy Nightmares
Bike shop & cafe - Look Mum, No hands
Book publisher - Book, Line & Thinker

Cafe - Billy No Mates
Corner Shop - Open Most Hours
Cut price goods - The Famous ú1.20 Shop
Fish shop - www.fish.cod
Fishing Tackle - FISHING MAYHEM!!
Funeral Parlour - Happy Go Lucky

Fusion cuisine - Ghandi's Chopsticks
Gay Bar - Does Your Mother Know?
Gym, in a disused church - Give Me strength
Hairdressers - You're Gorgeous, But What's With The Hair?

Hairdressers - Frankie Says... Hair
Hairdressers - It'll Grow Back
Hairdressers & phone charging - Things Never Be The Same Haircut & Phone Charge (based in Ghana)
Jewellery -The Devil Wears Charms

Mouthguard supplies - Gobsmacked
Muffin Shop - Double or Muffin
Pet Hire - Book a chook (specialising in chickens)
Phone Supplies (mobile cart) - Apples  & Berry's
Piano Movers - Deathwish Piano Movers

Piano tuition - Fingers & Thumbs
Plus-size clothes shop - Three Times A Lady

Restaurant (Hip Hop themed) - Bon Rap-etite

Restaurant (Indian food) - Major Curry Affair
Second hand shop - It Must be Stolen
Second hand store - located on the corner of Charming Alley and Creepy Close - Dead People's Stuff

Sweet Shop - Sugar Happens
Sweet Shop - Don't Tell The Dentist
Takeaway (Chip Shop) - 300 Spartans
Tattoo removals - On Second Thoughts
Van self-drive hire - Go Truck Yourself

Waste Disposal - The Poo Lorry
Wig shop - Not To Worry


Fail Lane

Baby Clothes - www.baby2000
Bakers - French Lettuce
Barbers - Shear Agony
Barbers - Destroy
Beauticians - Kiss My Fairy

Beauty Spa - Spaghetti Tree
Bike Shop - Bikes-On-Wheels

Bridal Shop - Just A Day
Cafe, in Morocco, in Facebook font - FaceCoffee
Cafe - Hard Bike Cafe
Card Shop - Ace of Cards
Cat wash/valet - The Washfather
Chinese Restaurant - Swiss Cottage
Chinese Restaurant - The Roman Empire
Chinese Takeaway - Michael's
Cleaners - A******
Dog supplies - Desperate House Dogs
Dress shop - Hel's Kitchen
Driving School - Crash Driving School
Fish Pedicure - Piranha Fish Spa
Flooring - Luke Floorwalker
Gym - Sweat F.A.
Gym - Inn Action
Hair salon - Exp-hair-teze
Hair salon - Atmosp'hair
Hair salon - Stasi Salon
Hair salon - Lock Stock and Two Smoking Scissors
Hairdresser - Cut The Crap
Hairdresser - The Suez Canal* (see below)
Hairdresser - Scissors in the City

Hairdresser - L'Scissors
Hairdresser - Cl'Haire
Hairdresser - Scissors.COMb
Hairdresser - Sweeny Tom
Hippie clothes - Gypsiphilia
Indian restaurant - Flute Signature
Ink shop - Ink on Wheels
Landscaping supplies - Soil Yourself
Ladies fashion shop - Fugli

Letting Agency - Katie Homes
Luggage shop - Carrion
Pet Grooming - Wizard Of Paws
Pet store - This is on the corner of Fail Lane and Creepy Close - Bon Appetite
Pound Shop - Crazy Madness
Refridgeration Company - 007 Refridgeration, License to Chill
Pet Foods - Barf
Pub - Face Pub (in the Facebook font)
Restaurant (Chinese) - Ms G's
Restaurant (Chinese) - Calories
Restaurant (French) - Don't Trust The Germans
Rice Puddingery! -Rice To Riches
Rice Puddingery! - Pudding On The Rice

Running gear - Achilles Heel
Running gear - Sweat Shop
Sandwich Shop - Via Agra
School Uniform Shop - All Things Uniform, Its Wear to Go

Salad Bar - When Eddie Met Salad
Strip bar - Lap Zeplin
Takeaway - AbraPizza
Takeaway - Kebab Fish Knight
Takeaway - Only Fools and Falafal

Tanning Salon - The Only Tan is Essex
Tattooist - Inkfectious
Tattoist - Blood, Sweat & Ink
Taxi Service - Lady Cabs
Taxi service - Halfway Cabs
Thai Restaurant - Happy Garden Restaurant
Tiles - The Tiling King
Toy Shop - Much Ado About Toys
Travel Agents - Don't Go There
Video Rental - On The Video Front

Vietnamese restuarant - Brooklyn Tomato
Weightloss - Totally Flab-e-loss

*Suez Canal gets Pun Street's 1st Blue Plaque as it is a 'short cut'.

Fail Lane Monuments

Fail Lane has a statue of David Grainger on it to celebrate his suggestion of a failed pun with the Top Cat Piet Emporium - which he believed to be a bad attempt at a pun on Carpet Emporium but which turned out to be the quite reasonable name, Top Cat Pet Emporium... which sells pets and not carpets.

There is also a bench dedicated to Princessa_Vicki for her proposal of Rhythm & Rice for Pun Street despite thec fact that it doesn't appear to actually be a pun.
The brilliantly named Santiago Durand has a bust, playing snooker, in honour of an attempt to get Absolute Snooker onto fail lane as a roadside recovery firm, when they were actually a snooker table supplier.


Vain Parade

Beauticians - Julia Knows Beauty
Day Nursery - AbracaDebra
Cafe - Tina, We Salute You
Football club - FC Atletico Faustino Asprilla

Hairdresser - The Nicola Adams Experience
Hairdresser - Marks Above The Rest
Purse shop - Alf, The Purse King
Indian Restaurant - I am King Of Balti


Creepy Close

??? - Kiss My Kids
Barbers - Blood And Bandages
Barbers - Cut U Up
Caterers/fast food - Captain Fingers
Child care centre - Pied Piper
Children's clothes - Kids Exchange

Childrens store - Just 'F' Kids
Childrens store - Kid-nap
Dog Boarding, and crematorium - Canberra Boarding Kennels, Pet Cemetery & Crematorium
Electricians - Turn You On
Fishmonger - Meat without Feet
Hair salon - Eroticuts
Hairdresser - Chainsaw Massacre Salon
Indian/Sri Lankan takeaway - Watch Me
'Gentleman's Club' - ST1
Gymnasium - Slaughterhouse Health Club
Kitchens - KK Kitchens
Lingerie - Secrets From My Sister

Lingerie - Tender Trap
Make Up Supplies - Facial Attraction
Massage parlour - Lucky Finger
Mobile disco - Short Term Discharge
Nursery - Sticky Fingers
Second hand store - located on the corner of Charming Alley and Creepy Close - Dead People's Stuff

Pet Photographer - Shoot My Pet
Seafood Restaurant - She's Got Crabs
Strip Club - Burke & Hare
Tattooist - Drawing Blood



Richard Herring's Cultural Quarter, aka The Herring Area

Barbed wire museum - The Devils Rope Museum
Potato museum - The Kartoffelnmuseum, Munich
The Salt Museum, Northwich
The Turban Museum, Jaipur


Calamity Close

Brown To Earth (Electricians)


Punintention Alley

A bar, in Switzerland - CRAP Bar
Doctors surgery - Kilmeny Surgery
Florists, also in Switzerland - Bloemen Ecke

Funeral Service - R.S. Cape Funerals
Hotel - John Thomas Inn
Guest House - David Guest House
Hungarian Restaurant - Fatal

Lawyers - Wright Hassall
Yoga centre - Kripalu (pron. Cripple-you)


Portman-Tow Path

Bicycles & Sweets - Wheelie Wonka's
Cafe and Post Office - Toast Office
Cakes and art suppplies - Tarts and Crafts
Candles & computers - Candletech
Chinese and Mexican takeaway - Wok-a-moley
Coffee & Boardgames - Snakes & Lattes
Ice Cream & Fruit - Dolce & Banana
Kitchens & Poodles - Kitchens & Poodles
Medieval weapons, games and vacuum cleaners - Vacuums & Dragons
Milkshakes & eyebrow threading - Shake & Brow
Pens & Kites - Write Here, Kite Now
Pets & Puzzles - Pets & Puzzles
Ski Equipment & Lawnmowers - Eski-mowers 
Portman Tow Path also has a music festival, featuring an open mic session & reptile show, inspired by an identical event at The Castle Tavern, Luton

Map of Pun Street

Click to embiggen this map by listener Emma Corsham.
Pun Street Map

More Pun Street

Dave GormanDave's podcast
Listen to the latest edition of Pun Street on the podcast.

The latest photos from Pun Street

More in this hour on absoluteradio.co.uk...

Annabel PortThe Annabel Portcast
Annabel's best bits from the Hometime Show.

Masters of Man TimeMasters of Man Time
...with Danny Wallace and Pete Donaldson.

Album collageHaven't Heard It For Ages
Send in your request, you could win a Roberts DAB Radio.

Chris Martin
On air now:
Chris Martin now playing 'Come Together' by The Beatles
Absolute Radio Account access
or join today for free.