Iain Lee's Letter to the Listeners
Hello all.
My name is Iain Lee and I thank you for allowing me to come and dick around on your radio station.
A brief introduction to myself for you. If you’re interested. If you’re old enough to remember the 11 O’Clock Show on button 4 on your tellys, then Hallelujah, you may be able to picture me in your minds eye. I was the one that wasn’t Ricky Gervais, Ali G, Daisy Donovan, Mackenzie Crook, Paul Garner, Alex Lowe or any of the others what done appear on there.
Don’t remember? Never mind. Try this blast from them olden days. You know RI:SE? The poor man’s Big Breakfast? But not like the rubbish early RI:SE with Judith Chalmers and Co., the good RI:SE where I would bully Kate Lawler, once rowed (fought not boated) with the fat one from Liberty X and asked Daniel Beddingfield if he was a gaylord. Well that was me.
To be honest, all of that is insignificant now as I am here, on The Absolute Radio Station, Sunday evenings 10pm until 1am. This is what’s important. Nothing more.
You must be thinking ‘What is the show going to be like?’ - well, so am I. It will certainly have lots of telephone calls. Lots. From you, if you’re up for it. I’d like that. In fact, the whole content is pretty much going to be telephone calls. From you. Calling in. To me. Would you mind doing that? Because without you doing that, I aint got a show. Sure, there will be a few records, but I’m hoping to keep those down to a minimum. What I really want
is to hear you talking. Sounds lazy, huh? Well it is a bit.
But please don’t panic. We won’t be talking about the news. I’m not really interested in what you think about some woman calling a bear Mohammed, or whether we have too many immigrants. I’m more concerned about asking if you’ve had your bum bleached or who you would do it with if you had to go gay to save the world (my choice is Duncan Bannatyne off the Dragons Den. Mmmm. Dreamy.)
Anyways, that’s it. I start on January 6th, it would be great if you would join me. I promise I will ensure that no U2 gets played between those hours. That’s a guarantee.
Lots of love
Iain Lee