Dave Gorman on Absolute Radio

Guests and Biscuits

Every week Dave will offer his guest a biscuit from the biscuit tin. Dave, Danielle and Martin are not allowed to have any biscuits from the tin, they can only predict the biscuit that they think each guest will choose.

Who have we had on the show... what are they up to... and more importantly, which biscuit did they choose?

Each week, Danielle, Martin and Dave play a game called Guess What Biscuit The Guest Will Pick? With 11 different types of biscuit to choose from, you'd think none of them would get it right most weeks. You'd be wrong. Here' - in reverse order - is how it's gone.

Show 11
This was our last week for playing the guess-what-biscuit-the-guest will pick game and, with the scores level at two apiece it was also a nail biting decider.
Our guest was Robin Ince who was in to talk about his science-celebrating Christmas show . (By the time you're reading this, the show will have been and gone but go and see him doing something else instead.)

The tension in the studio was palpable. While in previous weeks we've sometimes had no score the decision was made that in the event of Robin picking an unpredicted biscuit he would be encouraged to pick again until there was a result.

But there was no need for that. His first choice was the knuckle-duster shaped Chocolate Biscuit. It was, all things considered a shock win for Gorman.

Danielle had made the early running. Martin had pushed her all the way. But Dave had never looked like he was in it. But it's a strong end to the season. He drew level in week 10 and won it in week 11 taking the title, Best Biscuit Guesser 2009.
Final Scores:
Dave: 3, Danielle: 2, Martin: 2

Show 10
The biscuit choice of Victoria Coren - author of For Richer For Poorer - has left the what-biscuit-will-the-guest-pick game hanging in the balance. The biscuit's sell-by date means there's only one more round to go and Victoria's choice - a milk chocolate oval - gave a point to Dave levelling the scores. Next week will be the decider. Listener Mic Friel has only guessed once and can't possibly get back in the running now. But across the team the scores are level with everything (ie nothing) to play for.
Score: Danielle 2, Martin 2, Dave 2, Mic Friel 0

Show 9
Jenny Eclair - taking time out from an exceedingly busy Grumpy Old Women Tour - was a real curve ball for all of the biscuit gamers. Jenny doesn't eat biscuits. No points for anyone and the score remains the same.
Score: Danielle 2, Martin 2, Dave 1, Mic Friel 0

Show 8
Chris Addison - him out of The Thick Of It - came in to chat about his upcoming stand-up tour. If he'd told the team he'd had a big chocolate bar on the way in they might have adjusted their guesses accordingly. As it was he surprised everyone with the unusually austere oat crunch biscuit. Nobody got it right.
Also getting it wrong was listener Mic Friel who decided to pitch in with his own guess of a milk chocolate oval. Strange, we never asked him to. But while it means nothing changes at the top of the Biscuit Game League it also means that Dave moves off the bottom spot where Mic Friel now languishes with a new entry and zero points. It's a disaster for Friel!
Score: Danielle 2, Martin 2, Dave 1, Mic Friel 0

Show 7
Bob Golding
- star of the play Morecambe - caused great tension amongst the team with his biscuit choice. Before the show, Danielle predicted the milk chocolate oval but Dave and Martin both went with the bourbon. But because Dave had already written the word bourbon down next to his own name in the biscuit-ledger, it was decided that Martin had to change his bid. He went with the custard cream. Cut to Bob's interview and it's no exaggeration to say that when he said, "It has to be either a custard cream or a bourbon..." the team's buttocks clenched in anticipation. Controversially he went with the custard cream, meaning that Martin and Danielle are level on points, and Dave is lagging behind. Close. So very, very close.
Score: Danielle 2, Martin 2, Dave 1

Show 6
Josie Long, (who's spending 100 days trying to make herself a better person) chose the last remaining tea cake... and finally Dave gets it right for the first time
Score: Danielle 2, Martin 1, Dave 1

Show 5

We had two guests this week. The brilliant actor, writer, director and musician Paddy Considine didn't get to choose a biscuit because he was on the phone. And in the bath.

Meanwhile, Naked Truths author Jo Carnegie chose a Crunchy Milk Chocolate Finger.
For the first time, there were no correct guesses.
Score: Danielle 2, Martin 1, Dave 0
 
Show 4
Carter USM  popped in a few days in advance of their reunion gigs. With two heads trying to pick one biscuit it wasn't easy but they plumped for... a Milk Cocolate Oval.
Correctly guessed by Danielle
Score: Danielle 2, Martin 1, Dave 0

Show 3
Stand up (and Richard Branson correspondent) Tom Wrigglesworth chose...a Bourbon Cream.
Correctly guessed by Martin
Score: Danielle 1, Martin 1, Dave 0

Show 2
We Are Klang came in to chat about their upcoming DVD. Well, two out of three of them did. One of them, I'm not saying who (Greg), was late. But he got here eventually. Anyway, we... um... we forgot to offer them a biscuit.
Score: Danielle 1, Martin 0, Dave 0

Show 1
Our very first guest, the lagubriously funny Alun Cochrane chose... a Teacake. Who'd have thought he'd have been tempted by the shiny foil wrapper? I'll tell you who... Danielle, that's who. She guessed and goes straight to the top of the biscuit league.
Score: Danielle 1, Martin 0, Dave 0

The list of biscuits are as follows...


  • Crunchy Milk Chocolate Finger
  • Oat Crunch Biscuit
  • Dark Chocolate Biscuit
  • Milk Chocolate Digestive
  • Teacake
  • Half-Coated Dark Chocolate Finger Cookie
  • Bourbon Cream
  • Coconut Cookie
  • Milk Chocolate Oval
  • Custard Cream
  • Chocolate Chip Cookie

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